Thursday, January 24

i just took a quick personality test on the Chandler Macleod website, which i just thought was really true...so true that i think it coincides with my non-work life as well~ lolzz..

anyways, just thought i would share it since it was pretty accurate for me~

You display the following dominant style(s):





Normal





Mover











Deliberator





'NMD' style
The emotional responsiveness and variability of the MD will now be under some control from the N factor. Under stress, there will still be demonstrated cyclical behaviour - optimism followed by pessimism, cheerfulness followed by despondency, energy followed by lethargy - but the person will disguise (to some extent) how they feel and the mood swings will be far less apparent. There will be more constructive use of the energy and enthusiasm and there will be some tendency for the pessimistic ideas not to weigh them down quite so much. The effect is to smooth out the emotional display.
NMD style people will seek company, will be friendly and open communicators and welcome the opportunity to interact successfully with other people. They will seek the controlled expression of their emotions and they will generally be more even-tempered, making them more effective in the people area. They feel pressure at the work place when they are isolated from the group, for the group serves not only to satisfy social needs, but also gives them a feeling of security and belonging. They do not by nature want to take the leading role so, if forced by circumstances into authority situations or into decision-making, some anxiety will occur. They will try to get general agreement, decision making by consensus, rather than stipulating what must happen. They would especially be anxious and uncertain if they were forced into decision-making that adversely affected a member of their group and, similarly, they do not want to have to criticise fellow members.
Their work style is very much that of the willing contributor who wants to know exactly what they are supposed to be doing and who expects to be trained fully for their job. They willingly accept a strong person's legitimate authority but they expect to be managed in a friendly, encouraging style and, when that happens, they will be a willing contributor who abides by the group's norms.
They are not keen on being pinned down to repetitive, routine style activity and essentially, there needs to be a communication aspect to their role, rather than work in isolation. Their interpersonal style is that of the group participant. They love the opportunity to talk with others, to share what they have, and they will be generous with their possessions and equally generous in sharing their feelings or their ideas. There is a controlling factor (via the N) that prevents too much exaggerated emotional display, but their responsiveness is very much present and will be an integral part of their behaviour. There is not a lot of social sensitivity present however, so they may inadvertently tread on the toes of the more sensitive, but there is no intention on their part to hurt other people's feelings.
They work with people because they like them, not because they hold formal authority and they will go out of their way to sustain the group norms or the group ethic. Errors they make are unintentional and mainly brought about through lack of focus.

Wednesday, January 23

ive been reading my old blog on multiply, purely for my own amusement and it certainly was a very eventful 2007/2006..which i wouldnt have any other way^^
hrmss...just finished my IELTS test last saturday>.< ::fingers crossed:: it should be fine, but im hoping to get a better grade than the last time, although i think i got reaaally lazy by the writing bit..! lolz
i also went to a tarot card reader about a week ago..and, well...i really cant say much except, im not even sure its even relevant. oh well, i might be wrong..hahah. i was interested but didnt usually bother with all the cosmic stufz since i was in year 9/10..lolzwell, other than that, i have confirmed that i wont be going back to kl this holiday as well. i called my mum on thursday and she was ready to book me a ticket back to malaysia, flying there on the 20th of january and returning on 17/18th feb, but i thought about it and i know, wherever i am, i cant run away from my thoughts, so i'd be better off dealing with it anyways without the costly mistake of flying back anyways.and besides, i am stronger than that and im also not giving up. i wont give up as easily.
well, i feel much better today~~ i finally went to St. Vincent's Hospital today to look for volunteer work~ i figured that there are many people out there who face much more pressing problems than myself, and im trying not to think about my own for awhilee..~
anyways, im kinda way too tired to keep my eyes open even, now..so i think i will send my resumes first thing tmw morning~ nitezz for now~~

Monday, January 14

i chose y o u

do you know about those times, when we really regret some of the things we did and wished that time would just rewind itself, just so we could do things a different way? well, there is this situation or more like a series of situations which i really would approach differently, given the chance again. i was tactless, juvenile and stubborn, and i really cant believe it because i really was being exactly like a person who i used to 'hate', and yes, i do realise this also makes me a hypocrite. i believe that life is all about a balance..for everything we do, there usually is a balance to uphold. for instance, i have become a very rational person when it comes to matters of my <3, i may come off as indifferent, heartless and almost incapable of believing in love. but the truth remains that i do. my mistake comes from over-emphasising the former, and misleading the one person who i unknowingly, have given a small piece of my <3 color="#333399">some important things that need to be defended as well.
i was selfish and protective of my own feelings, and ended up with the cold, hard realisation of the truth that i have been denying all along. so, it goes to show, i have become very averse to spontaneity and taking risks and unable to live my life as it is...
but most importantly, i wished i told you before, that i chose you, but i knew actions are stronger than words, and i thought i would show you in time. i would choose you.

************

Tuesday, January 8

happpiee happiee new year 2008 to all~~~!!

anyways, i've been thinking again (when i know i really shouldn't be), and i realised just how i have been pretty tactless in terms of giving advice when i should just let nature run its own due course. well, i wont give any excuses for my insensitivity, but hope that i remember this lesson and not repeat my mistakes again. and although i know, the decision is not one which i changed alone, i still carry that guilt as i know i have done wrong, regardless of how much it had inspired the outcome. *sighs*

its been a year and a half since i was last in a relationship...hrmms..and yes, i have enjoyed my singledom and gotten accustomed to the relatively new concept of being happy even without a significant other. during this time, i have liked and gone on dates, but when there is an even the slightest hint of an expectation of a relationship, i have panicked and turned to run in the opposite direction. i have been extremely cautious in most circumstances involving my <3 ...coz i have too many fears. fear that my standards are not met, fear that i will go too fast and not know the person well enough b4 i fall in love, the fear that i will revert or fail to be a good girlfriend. . .the fear of letting my own self down. but its really time to let go of these fears, because life is only half-lived if we continue to live in doubt and worry about things that may never eventuate~