those magic words.

i remember. . . the times i used to latch onto my dad's back trouser pockets and follow him to the dining table every evening when he just got home from work.

i remember. . . how my mum would console and soothe me whenever i had a bad fall or i had nightmares when i was just a little kid.

i remember. . . the way the sunlight would shine through the curtains in our old house in Cheras when i used to sleep in my parents' bedroom.

and. . . i also remember as a little kid, my biggest fear and worst-ever nightmare was, one day, eventually losing my parents *touches wood*
it is a very strange and frightening concept: death. especially to a seven-year old. and, yes, i was petrified by the thought of losing my own life one day, and the possibilities of how it would occur, but at that time, the deep pain of the loss of the people i loved most dearly and how i would cope without them seemed like too much to bear. there were nights of endless sobbing and crying in bed from worry of this undeniable fate. of losing the two most important and giving people in this world to me; my mum and dad. i really have alot to thank them for..~
then there was a period of time, when i started to find my dad too uptight, and my mum too flighty. friends started to overshadow my family & i began to disregard my parents' advice and directions. it was like, the more they pushed, the more i edged away.
but standing here in this point of time, i cant help but feel so lost. unsure of what i want, what i should do, and what is possible and impossible to achieve. my life as a student is unofficially about to end, and i can't handle this responsibility yet. i wished i could be strong, for the sake of my independence, and my parents. but i'm crumbling from the weight of it all...
on the train home from work last nite, i couldnt keep myself from thinking...i reaally, reeaally miss my family, and i wish i could hear my mum tell me again that "everythings going to be alrite..."

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