so, I'm feeling a little artsy-fartsy right now.....

I would also like to clarify;
(a) I don't even like the colour pink so much,
(b) I'm not even so much into full-head-of-curls.

BT.....

i would definitely classify myself as the type that thinks far too much, and muses a whole lot, sometimes unnecessarily...but when it comes to communicating my thoughts into actual speech, written or spoken; i think i fail terribly...

recently, i have been spending almost all/most of my weekends at my boyfriends'....and today, is just one of the far between and few Sunday afternoons that I have chosen to actually opt out from spending time at his. it kind of feels weird now...something that i once did all the time, spending my Sundays, either out for a coffee or walking with my friends, or just mulling around @ home...and, i know very well, the next thing i say, is about to be as oxymoron-ic as it gets, but, i don't feel like being at his place either. i always end up freezing (to an even higher extent, in the suburbs), in a home that is not my own. Nope, not exactly a fun idea for a Sunday...hrmm...but what other fun ideas for a Sunday are there? Zilch. Or maybe, I'm not thinking hard enough:S

so, its been a tiring week for me...but, a pretty eventful one at that;)
i can't believe tomorrow will be the final match of the World Cup 2010! it was disappointing that Portugal didn't get so far, but I am hoping, at least, Spain, the team that have knocked them out, will indeed take the Cup..! hahah...

hmmm....i'm also very much looking forward to this particular movie~~

C'est vrai, i have a problem...a huge one, at that

I have to have to have to have to have to curb my shopping addiction.
there are clothes, beauty and cosmetics, more clothes, shoes (not so much of recently) :(

there goes my self control out the window...~ not to worry, i am not currently in debt or anything as serious as that, but i definitely should try to tone it down.
other than that, it has been freeeeeeeeeezzing in Melbourne. or it could be just me? i am also eating up a storm=.="

this entry is starting to sound like a confessional, so i will move on to something light now...like, a Tag:) whee!!

Got this Tag from StyleSuzi, a fantastic Youtube guru + blogger from the UK~~
will be doing 50 Random things, instead of the 100, as Suzi did...,


1) I'm a closeted makeup and fashion worshipper. or maybe, it has become more obvious of late??
2) Currently, has "Meet Me Halfway" by the Black Eyed Peas and "Untill We Bleed" by Kleerup (with Lykke Li) on heavy rotation.
3) Kind of missing my longer hair
4) I work at a bank.
5) Have been having a whole lot of dreams, good & bad, recently.
6) I wish I could draw.
7) Believes in ghosts.
8) Is crazy about ice-cream. Especially Baskin Robbins' Jamoca Almond fudge.
9) Haagen Dazs is worth worshipping;)
10) Wishes she blogs better.
11) Loves swings, of all the things in playgrounds.
12) Can't really imagine life without my BB glasses.
13) Prefers eating apples with their skins on.
14) I think I look more like my mum.
15) Is very grateful for all that life has brought her so far.
16) Has a lot of trouble with decision-making. Like A LOT.
17) It's Sunday, today. Work tomorrow...!
18) Sophia Bush is gorgeous.
19) watching a muted, previously watched episode of One Tree Hill.
20) Only likes the first sip of beer, and can't enjoy the rest.
21) Just noticed her phone is MIA.


one of my favourite web haunts include leblogdebetty

here's a sneak preview, for the curious and fashion-hungry at heart...

so, i'm at another rather weird phase in life...where important decisions are due to be made. i find it terribly ironic that i feel as if i somehow always have to make decisions in life a couple of years earlier than the average person usually does...like, how was i to know what i really wanted to pursue in life at 15, upon graduating from high school?
well, theres nothing much to be done about those decisions for now...it seems that those last eight years just passed within a blink of my eye. hahah..especially the last three years or so. time really does fly when one is enjoying oneself...
hmmms...never one for planning so much, i have to think up my future now apparently. im not so sure how i feel about that. bcoz i used to 'dream' of my future....but now, its just staring blankly ahead of me.


why does trying to come up with a 'plan', make me more lost than ever before?

New Year of the T-I-double G-RRRRR

Gong Xi Fa Cai!~~ Happy New Year of the Tiger~ woottt! its my year again, rooooaarr! and a Happie Valentines Day as well..! <3





Interesting that this year, we should have a double celebration of love and family:) although, i do miss the CNY celebrations back home, I'm thankful to have been able to spend it with a very special person:)

Yesss, he's finally back from his long trip to the States & China...! Which means that he has managed to lug back a whole stash of goodies back pour moi from all across the Atlantic;p *joy*

It's an incredibly gratifying stash for any make-up and body product connoisseur, and, so rarely that such an occasion should occur, i just had to take a picture of the entire haul~^^

anyway, i made him buy all of the stuff, but i wasnt really expecting him to actually get most of the items on my pretty extensive list. and yes, i am absolutely in <3>

I always wanted to try the Urban Decay eye primer potion, so I got it in XL (Sin), and I've just tried it but am not suuuper crazy about it..as I personally believe Sin is abit too shimmery for everyday daily use. As for Nars blush in Orgasm, another cult product which i have not had the chance to try out as yet.

The AmazingCosmetics concealer in Light golden, pretty precisely matches my skin colour, and is as Amazing as it claims to be..! however, it came in such a small tube, i have to try real hard to skimp on using concealer. Another impressive buy was the Sephora colourful makeup palette in Warm, great variety of shades and good for experimenting, mixing and matching~

thats all for tonite, shall be back soon, with the rest of any other pictures~~ good nite

'

an epiphany. a dream.

finally. i can take some direction...
being the restless itchy bottom that i am has never been easy, for me nor those around me.
my recent thoughts have been about home. CNY, and the like.
So, i have set a plan for myself... or a timeline, somewhat.
A year, in this job, and if i still cant get anywhere, I shall simply leave for greener pastures, preferably, in another country...
I'm so over melbourne, but what the heck...I might as well stay til the TR runs out...and, meanwhile, i just have to keep applying elsewhere, and working on my pet projects.
it fills me with a sense of things to come, and not just a sense of foreboding over the near future and whats about to happen.
i am, once again, in control of my direction for the next year, at least~~

hrmms...for what it's worth (and i realise, it's not Mother's day for another few months or so..), I really love my Mum.
for those who know me, I am not particularly close to my Mum, as in I do not have the ritual of calling them every once, or even few times, a week to talk about everything under the sun. Nope, that's just not me. Just ask my Mum, she is always grumbling about what a lousy clinger I am.
However, today, as I was checking out my lil' sister's page on Facebook, I came across a particular photo, with a familliar person with her back facing the camera in the background. Instantly, I recognised the navy oversized jumper and auburn bob. I could even picture in my head, her very delicate and long fingers brushing the material of the clothes she was browsing. Maybe she was wearing her rings, maybe not. I felt a rush of emotion as I remember her voice, when she was doing something calm, like folding the clothes or just winding down after a long day. Days like those, when she was the intelligent, bright and tactful woman who everyone wished their mum was like. I envisioned my mum sowing my loose buttons or hemming my trousers which were always too long for me, wrapping my schoolbooks before the start of the new term....I also realised the frailty of my mum, how she had positively zilch sense of direction, and her keen sense of worry. Makes me worry for her....
I know, I initially didn't want to go on another holiday with the family, but then, ahhh.....screw that part!

Happy Neeeuuuu Year!

as i listen to this song again, i feel all the feelings of hurt and pain seep back in slowly...
of course, it's different this time, because time has dulled the edges of these emotions. it is of little significance, many other different memories have taken precedence over that memory of you.
now, i just relish that slight melancholy which provides a distraction to my more recent wound.

Happy New Year 2010!

like i said before , I dont really believe in New year resolutions, but if I had to pick, it would be to improve my EQ, IQ (virtually unlikely) and to become an overall stronger person. Oh yeah, and get RICH too! hahahah...yep...enjoy the year ahead, everyone! Its gonna b another heck of an awesome one;)

oops! i promised myself i wouldn't count the days, but i was just flipping and noting down in my planner, which prompted me to count the weeks till the 31st of January, it seems like an awful lot of weeks to go, if the weeks that went by are going by like the last week or so...
*sigh*

okaii, thats quite enough self-pity, im kinda thankful for having an early morning tmw...busy busy busy, pleaseeee....

so, its been hot and balmy the past few days...and seems to continue to be for the next week, at least...it's nothing at all like KL, but yeah, theres nothing quite like home anyway~

home, what kevin brought up with me has got me missing home again. now that I have job, would I want to give that up & go back home anyway? hmm...it's still too early to tell, and too early to decide as well...i miss KL, and now i just miss it more..hahah..this is what happens when we are spoilt for choice~

hmm...i miss him most in the mornings, when there's no one to roll into:)
i refrain from counting down til the day he gets back, and have opted to taking it day after day, instead...~
experiencing hot weather in melbourne always brings nostalgia to me, of the Xmases spent here, our summer escapades, summer jobs, chilling, lazy Saturdays and such...its time to make new ones~ so, here's to a memorable summer '09!

blw

i'm happy to announce that my bestie in mebourne has found a job, and as a graduate architect no less! :) she started on the day she got her interview~



and, i'm well, almost employed, holding my breath still....,



other than waking up wayy too early today (7 thirty AM), i am determined to enjoy the rest of my day, despite the abundance of pollen in the Melbourne spring air.



i finally watched a movie, (500) days of Summer, and it was cute, not fantastic but my kind of movie, i guess...;) i wont spoil it, by providing a description.

its been awhile...

hello there.



i'm officially super bored again.

the infamous job hunt ensues.



and, i am missing another partner-in-crime again, this year (booo...i miss you ruth!),

but the good news is we have another member;p Orangie a.k.a. Ee Ling~~

more upd8s soon, hopefully...;)

anywhere but here

just came back from 1-Utama, my first shopping session upon arriving in KL..gosh, i have missed shopping in kl so so much..not so much the enormous crowds, and the difficulty of finding parking though..on the way home, disaster struck, as we were filling up on petrol on the way home. tempers flared, voices raised subconsciously, and i got the similar constriction in my throat i always encountered, when faced with a difficult or stressful situation. and then realisation hit me. This was exactly what I used to hate and motivate me from being anywhere else but here.sure enough, i have missed KL so much, the lifestyle, the food, the shopping, the places, the sights, but i always knew i just couldnt stay with my family. its odd, but i just feel very upset over their pointless bickering...perhaps i am too sensitive, but i honestly, just can't stand it.on the other hand, melbourne is old for me. its boorishness drives me almost insane, let alone its lack of choice and international-influence inadequacy..


so, what then, can i do? what other choice do i have?

an emptiness that envelopes me whole.

alot of time has passed, and yet, i am still as unwise as I have always been.
have i not learnt anything?

it seems that nothing much has changed at all.
the ugliness that rears its head is as I expected, did it come very soon? - make this a reminder of why I chose to be me, for this long. perhaps, i have become incapable of giving.

numb. the notions are the same, although I tried my best to contain myself.

& as I continue to push myself further toward the edge, the only one who can't seem to see the simple truth is my very own self.

Happie New Year ~

happiee, happiee new year!!

ok, so i am eleven days late ;p but who's counting anyway..hahahh

Yay! another new year dawns upon us...and it brings great promise; of fresh beginnings, of new starts, of new challenges to overcome, of new experiences to savour and new opportunities to break through~
this year, i am not making any new year resolutions, simply because i dont want to make it a habit of using the New Year as a petty excuse to form and try to withhold resolutions. Resolutions for betterment should be formed during anytime we see fit and realise we need to change for the better, and not just during the coming of a New Year..~

anyhow, i hope the new year brings great happiness and joy to all, and may we all take a step closer to the dreams we hold dearest in our hearts~~

a little too much...

do u know the feeling?
it is as if . . .
when we see a car accident by the side of the road, but we can't seem to tear our eyes away from it? and as the terrible, tragic scene unfolds, i just cant help myself...

there is pain from just plain watching, yet i cant seem to remove my attention...
why is that?

why, do i continue to observe something that seems so painful, so sad...and, to make matters worse; i know, i can be terribly sensitive.
its hard to watch, but i do it anyway....
it has become a reflex of mine, a habit, even.


there was once a period, where i thought i wouldn't want to take everything so seriously. but, i have learned that it is a nearly impossible feat.
life is so short and fleeting, and i want to fill mine with passion. my passion happens to be making the world a better place, no matter how small the effort;)


i think too much.
i ask too many questions.
i feel abit too much as well.

i wonder, can i be cured?

another well-deserved photo upd8, so u wont totally despise me for my gnarly postss~

Suryanto's 2*th birthday celebration @ Belgian Beer Cafe, Eureka Towers & VII~~ [14112008]

Ruth, me and Hui San~

the birthday boy! making his birthday wish

a group picture outside~^^

me and Hui San + Darren

Breakfast Pyjamas party @ Carlton Gardens [06122008]

Melissa, me and Ethan

Happy Couple 1: Bryan + Melissa

happie feet:)

girls^.^

oh. my. goodness....

happiness is meant to be sought after. i am seeking my happiness. my pure, unadulterated bliss.

i believe, that was an affirmative.




and she smiled from her <3