i heart rainy Saturdays

so, i have been neglecting my blog, especially since I got my Ipad, on my 25th birthday....!

today, Kevin has brought the Ipad with him, and I hate to admit, I have had a more productive day.., the sheets have been changed, the laundry is hanging dry, i have cleaned the bathroom counters, and the bedroom counter too, the floors are vacuumed and a vanilla candle is merrily burning away on the table top.

although the weather seems to differ, I am actually feeling very content on this gloomy Saturday afternoon. there is time for me to reminisce today, and despite the lack of sleep from the previous night, and a rather distressing Friday night, I feel liberated by the realisation that my happiness is solely mine, and mine to determine. and, so i consciously choose to surround myself with things that make me happy. may it be my good memories of my European trip, my music or my passions. xoxox

Dearly missed

last nite, i managed to attend a dear old school friend's solemnization ceremony at her home. It was a rather private gathering, with a handful of close friends and mostly family members attending. needless to say, I felt very honoured to be present at such an important occasion, for my friend, Syaima and her husband.
it's been close to 9 years since we last saw each other, minus the wonders of Facebook, and I loved that she still had the same warmth while she greeted me, as if we just left school last Friday, and we met up during the weekend;)
and, standing there witnessing such an almost private rite of passage for this dear school friend of mine, I felt a slight dampening at the corner of my eye. Okay okay, so I tend to get very emotional a whole bunch, I will admit. but this was just a beautiful evening to remember in her life, and one she shared with the few of us. it brings me great joy to see her find happiness in the most simplest, yet difficult of ways. Err..sorry, I know, that was a contradiction, but really, if you understand what it is to be in love, you will understand completely;)

So, anyway, it was a very special Saturday evening, all in all...one I almost missed, but darn happy that I didn't...!

then, this morning, I woke up to a regular Sunday (as regular as the past two months' worth of Sundays have been) and I overheard some music playing in a distance. the song was not familliar, but I recognised the notions. there was a funeral procession taking place a street away. & it makes me think? of the notions of life. of love. of birth. of death. and all the natural courses in life.

Always appreciate the simplest notions of life. the birth of a new life, the respect for the departed, love and never be afraid of it, because we only get one go:)

xxoo

A few recent purchases that have managed to spruce up my month of May:)

First up, I hit up MAC's Quite Cute collection and although, the mineralized blushes and the peachy nude lipstick caught my eye too, I managed to limit myself to strictly the absolute will-regret-once-these-limited-edition-pieces-run-out's ;)

firstly, a very creamy light minty green nail varnish, very aptly titled Mischevious Mint~

and just another one for posterity . . .

I also picked up the 'In Synch' lip liner which is a beautiful matte peachy pink colour. I imagine it to be quite a pale yellow pink colour on the lips. Just the kind of milky pink lips I typically would go for.

Finally, the piece de resistance, was one of the beautiful Chanel bronzers from their current Summer Collection 2011, Fleurs d’Ete. I'd wanted this, since I first set eyes on it, on several different beauty blogs...!

Soleil Tan de Chanel 4 Facettes Bronzers– Bronze Corail (#537)

I've been really into bronzers of late, and what a pretty one this is=)

<3 <3 <3 what have you been loving recently?

hair-spiration!

as i was perusing beauty blogs today, i came across a picture of Vivianna's that totally made me wish my hair was long and luscious as hers...

*le sigh* this was not the picture, but this was one of her posts about haircare. I am in deep love with this kind of hair...

unfortunately, even when my hair grows out, it tends to look more on the coarser end of thick, with volume in all the wrong places:( so I will be on the scout for shine serums that don't contribute to the greasiness of the scalp, and something that gives more volume around the crown...

and, as I wait for my hair to grow back out, I shall leave you with a few of my favourite hair-sprational pictures;)

I simply can't wait to try this

and this, on my hair!! =)

irreverance

its Friday night, and i just painted my nails a hot coral colour last nite...and what's a 24 year old girl living in KL to do...?

i don't know about you, but of course, i am hiding at home, as per usual...

so what else is there to do, but peruse Facebook and have my share of semi-stalking behaviour, and I come across some pages & pictures of my ex-colleagues. I am instantly hit with a pang of nostalgia, which slowly churns my insides and the bile rises...as, I realise, I have lost it all...
My seemingly endless year of job-searching, enduring frightening dips of self-esteem, and hapless meandering through the streets that I virtuallymemorised...they have all amounted to this point in my life, where I am stuck in a limbo of W A I T I N G, once again.

It feels like I just don't belong. Neither here nor there. It seems, I have missed my boat in Malaysia now I am no longer a freshie graduate. And, it seems my heart starts to break, everytime I think back to my life in Melbourne a couple of months ago...My bile starts to rise, and I choke back the wave of bitterness and disappointment that threatens to overwhelm me.
Maybe, I am going about this the wrong way...perhaps I shouldn't look back, and just let bygones be bygones.

In the words that John Lennon once sang; Let it be, Let it be...

so....I've neglected this space for far too long, it seems almost pointless for me to return. Aahh..screw that;)

Alot has happened, I don't remember when my last post was, but it feels like it was b4 I got my first "real" job=) it's one year going now, but ending soon, as I will be returning to Malaysia! And, on forth...a new chapter awaits to be written...,

I haven't had much time for the nostalgia to set in....but, I'm sure it will...which is why, I am trying to move fast, keep busy, with no time to look back, because that is always where I make my biggest mistake, one that I do so often, and most times pretty consciously, but...I am only human.

As I type, I feel the sadness start to creep in, and I blame my itchy fingers and my roving eyes....Am I mad? Can I be mad? I don't think it's worth it...

anyway, hope you have a great weekend...looking forward to 2011 :)

pS- happy new year, everyone!

so, I'm feeling a little artsy-fartsy right now.....

I would also like to clarify;
(a) I don't even like the colour pink so much,
(b) I'm not even so much into full-head-of-curls.

BT.....

i would definitely classify myself as the type that thinks far too much, and muses a whole lot, sometimes unnecessarily...but when it comes to communicating my thoughts into actual speech, written or spoken; i think i fail terribly...

recently, i have been spending almost all/most of my weekends at my boyfriends'....and today, is just one of the far between and few Sunday afternoons that I have chosen to actually opt out from spending time at his. it kind of feels weird now...something that i once did all the time, spending my Sundays, either out for a coffee or walking with my friends, or just mulling around @ home...and, i know very well, the next thing i say, is about to be as oxymoron-ic as it gets, but, i don't feel like being at his place either. i always end up freezing (to an even higher extent, in the suburbs), in a home that is not my own. Nope, not exactly a fun idea for a Sunday...hrmm...but what other fun ideas for a Sunday are there? Zilch. Or maybe, I'm not thinking hard enough:S

so, its been a tiring week for me...but, a pretty eventful one at that;)
i can't believe tomorrow will be the final match of the World Cup 2010! it was disappointing that Portugal didn't get so far, but I am hoping, at least, Spain, the team that have knocked them out, will indeed take the Cup..! hahah...

hmmm....i'm also very much looking forward to this particular movie~~

C'est vrai, i have a problem...a huge one, at that

I have to have to have to have to have to curb my shopping addiction.
there are clothes, beauty and cosmetics, more clothes, shoes (not so much of recently) :(

there goes my self control out the window...~ not to worry, i am not currently in debt or anything as serious as that, but i definitely should try to tone it down.
other than that, it has been freeeeeeeeeezzing in Melbourne. or it could be just me? i am also eating up a storm=.="

this entry is starting to sound like a confessional, so i will move on to something light now...like, a Tag:) whee!!

Got this Tag from StyleSuzi, a fantastic Youtube guru + blogger from the UK~~
will be doing 50 Random things, instead of the 100, as Suzi did...,


1) I'm a closeted makeup and fashion worshipper. or maybe, it has become more obvious of late??
2) Currently, has "Meet Me Halfway" by the Black Eyed Peas and "Untill We Bleed" by Kleerup (with Lykke Li) on heavy rotation.
3) Kind of missing my longer hair
4) I work at a bank.
5) Have been having a whole lot of dreams, good & bad, recently.
6) I wish I could draw.
7) Believes in ghosts.
8) Is crazy about ice-cream. Especially Baskin Robbins' Jamoca Almond fudge.
9) Haagen Dazs is worth worshipping;)
10) Wishes she blogs better.
11) Loves swings, of all the things in playgrounds.
12) Can't really imagine life without my BB glasses.
13) Prefers eating apples with their skins on.
14) I think I look more like my mum.
15) Is very grateful for all that life has brought her so far.
16) Has a lot of trouble with decision-making. Like A LOT.
17) It's Sunday, today. Work tomorrow...!
18) Sophia Bush is gorgeous.
19) watching a muted, previously watched episode of One Tree Hill.
20) Only likes the first sip of beer, and can't enjoy the rest.
21) Just noticed her phone is MIA.


one of my favourite web haunts include leblogdebetty

here's a sneak preview, for the curious and fashion-hungry at heart...

so, i'm at another rather weird phase in life...where important decisions are due to be made. i find it terribly ironic that i feel as if i somehow always have to make decisions in life a couple of years earlier than the average person usually does...like, how was i to know what i really wanted to pursue in life at 15, upon graduating from high school?
well, theres nothing much to be done about those decisions for now...it seems that those last eight years just passed within a blink of my eye. hahah..especially the last three years or so. time really does fly when one is enjoying oneself...
hmmms...never one for planning so much, i have to think up my future now apparently. im not so sure how i feel about that. bcoz i used to 'dream' of my future....but now, its just staring blankly ahead of me.


why does trying to come up with a 'plan', make me more lost than ever before?

New Year of the T-I-double G-RRRRR

Gong Xi Fa Cai!~~ Happy New Year of the Tiger~ woottt! its my year again, rooooaarr! and a Happie Valentines Day as well..! <3





Interesting that this year, we should have a double celebration of love and family:) although, i do miss the CNY celebrations back home, I'm thankful to have been able to spend it with a very special person:)

Yesss, he's finally back from his long trip to the States & China...! Which means that he has managed to lug back a whole stash of goodies back pour moi from all across the Atlantic;p *joy*

It's an incredibly gratifying stash for any make-up and body product connoisseur, and, so rarely that such an occasion should occur, i just had to take a picture of the entire haul~^^

anyway, i made him buy all of the stuff, but i wasnt really expecting him to actually get most of the items on my pretty extensive list. and yes, i am absolutely in <3>

I always wanted to try the Urban Decay eye primer potion, so I got it in XL (Sin), and I've just tried it but am not suuuper crazy about it..as I personally believe Sin is abit too shimmery for everyday daily use. As for Nars blush in Orgasm, another cult product which i have not had the chance to try out as yet.

The AmazingCosmetics concealer in Light golden, pretty precisely matches my skin colour, and is as Amazing as it claims to be..! however, it came in such a small tube, i have to try real hard to skimp on using concealer. Another impressive buy was the Sephora colourful makeup palette in Warm, great variety of shades and good for experimenting, mixing and matching~

thats all for tonite, shall be back soon, with the rest of any other pictures~~ good nite

'

an epiphany. a dream.

finally. i can take some direction...
being the restless itchy bottom that i am has never been easy, for me nor those around me.
my recent thoughts have been about home. CNY, and the like.
So, i have set a plan for myself... or a timeline, somewhat.
A year, in this job, and if i still cant get anywhere, I shall simply leave for greener pastures, preferably, in another country...
I'm so over melbourne, but what the heck...I might as well stay til the TR runs out...and, meanwhile, i just have to keep applying elsewhere, and working on my pet projects.
it fills me with a sense of things to come, and not just a sense of foreboding over the near future and whats about to happen.
i am, once again, in control of my direction for the next year, at least~~

hrmms...for what it's worth (and i realise, it's not Mother's day for another few months or so..), I really love my Mum.
for those who know me, I am not particularly close to my Mum, as in I do not have the ritual of calling them every once, or even few times, a week to talk about everything under the sun. Nope, that's just not me. Just ask my Mum, she is always grumbling about what a lousy clinger I am.
However, today, as I was checking out my lil' sister's page on Facebook, I came across a particular photo, with a familliar person with her back facing the camera in the background. Instantly, I recognised the navy oversized jumper and auburn bob. I could even picture in my head, her very delicate and long fingers brushing the material of the clothes she was browsing. Maybe she was wearing her rings, maybe not. I felt a rush of emotion as I remember her voice, when she was doing something calm, like folding the clothes or just winding down after a long day. Days like those, when she was the intelligent, bright and tactful woman who everyone wished their mum was like. I envisioned my mum sowing my loose buttons or hemming my trousers which were always too long for me, wrapping my schoolbooks before the start of the new term....I also realised the frailty of my mum, how she had positively zilch sense of direction, and her keen sense of worry. Makes me worry for her....
I know, I initially didn't want to go on another holiday with the family, but then, ahhh.....screw that part!

Happy Neeeuuuu Year!

as i listen to this song again, i feel all the feelings of hurt and pain seep back in slowly...
of course, it's different this time, because time has dulled the edges of these emotions. it is of little significance, many other different memories have taken precedence over that memory of you.
now, i just relish that slight melancholy which provides a distraction to my more recent wound.

Happy New Year 2010!

like i said before , I dont really believe in New year resolutions, but if I had to pick, it would be to improve my EQ, IQ (virtually unlikely) and to become an overall stronger person. Oh yeah, and get RICH too! hahahah...yep...enjoy the year ahead, everyone! Its gonna b another heck of an awesome one;)

oops! i promised myself i wouldn't count the days, but i was just flipping and noting down in my planner, which prompted me to count the weeks till the 31st of January, it seems like an awful lot of weeks to go, if the weeks that went by are going by like the last week or so...
*sigh*

okaii, thats quite enough self-pity, im kinda thankful for having an early morning tmw...busy busy busy, pleaseeee....

so, its been hot and balmy the past few days...and seems to continue to be for the next week, at least...it's nothing at all like KL, but yeah, theres nothing quite like home anyway~

home, what kevin brought up with me has got me missing home again. now that I have job, would I want to give that up & go back home anyway? hmm...it's still too early to tell, and too early to decide as well...i miss KL, and now i just miss it more..hahah..this is what happens when we are spoilt for choice~

hmm...i miss him most in the mornings, when there's no one to roll into:)
i refrain from counting down til the day he gets back, and have opted to taking it day after day, instead...~
experiencing hot weather in melbourne always brings nostalgia to me, of the Xmases spent here, our summer escapades, summer jobs, chilling, lazy Saturdays and such...its time to make new ones~ so, here's to a memorable summer '09!

blw

i'm happy to announce that my bestie in mebourne has found a job, and as a graduate architect no less! :) she started on the day she got her interview~



and, i'm well, almost employed, holding my breath still....,



other than waking up wayy too early today (7 thirty AM), i am determined to enjoy the rest of my day, despite the abundance of pollen in the Melbourne spring air.



i finally watched a movie, (500) days of Summer, and it was cute, not fantastic but my kind of movie, i guess...;) i wont spoil it, by providing a description.