.beneaththestarrz.

i heart rainy Saturdays

2011-11-19T18:06:00.003+11:00

so, i have been neglecting my blog, especially since I got my Ipad, on my 25th birthday....!

today, Kevin has brought the Ipad with him, and I hate to admit, I have had a more productive day.., the sheets have been changed, the laundry is hanging dry, i have cleaned the bathroom counters, and the bedroom counter too, the floors are vacuumed and a vanilla candle is merrily burning away on the table top.

although the weather seems to differ, I am actually feeling very content on this gloomy Saturday afternoon. there is time for me to reminisce today, and despite the lack of sleep from the previous night, and a rather distressing Friday night, I feel liberated by the realisation that my happiness is solely mine, and mine to determine. and, so i consciously choose to surround myself with things that make me happy. may it be my good memories of my European trip, my music or my passions. xoxox

Dearly missed

2011-10-30T18:35:00.001+11:00

2011-06-05T23:09:00.002+10:00

last nite, i managed to attend a dear old school friend's solemnization ceremony at her home. It was a rather private gathering, with a handful of close friends and mostly family members attending. needless to say, I felt very honoured to be present at such an important occasion, for my friend, Syaima and her husband.
it's been close to 9 years since we last saw each other, minus the wonders of Facebook, and I loved that she still had the same warmth while she greeted me, as if we just left school last Friday, and we met up during the weekend;)
and, standing there witnessing such an almost private rite of passage for this dear school friend of mine, I felt a slight dampening at the corner of my eye. Okay okay, so I tend to get very emotional a whole bunch, I will admit. but this was just a beautiful evening to remember in her life, and one she shared with the few of us. it brings me great joy to see her find happiness in the most simplest, yet difficult of ways. Err..sorry, I know, that was a contradiction, but really, if you understand what it is to be in love, you will understand completely;)

So, anyway, it was a very special Saturday evening, all in all...one I almost missed, but darn happy that I didn't...!

then, this morning, I woke up to a regular Sunday (as regular as the past two months' worth of Sundays have been) and I overheard some music playing in a distance. the song was not familliar, but I recognised the notions. there was a funeral procession taking place a street away. & it makes me think? of the notions of life. of love. of birth. of death. and all the natural courses in life.

Always appreciate the simplest notions of life. the birth of a new life, the respect for the departed, love and never be afraid of it, because we only get one go:)

xxoo

2011-06-02T16:18:00.009+10:00

A few recent purchases that have managed to spruce up my month of May:)

First up, I hit up MAC's Quite Cute collection and although, the mineralized blushes and the peachy nude lipstick caught my eye too, I managed to limit myself to strictly the absolute will-regret-once-these-limited-edition-pieces-run-out's ;)

firstly, a very creamy light minty green nail varnish, very aptly titled Mischevious Mint~

and just another one for posterity . . .

I also picked up the 'In Synch' lip liner which is a beautiful matte peachy pink colour. I imagine it to be quite a pale yellow pink colour on the lips. Just the kind of milky pink lips I typically would go for.

Finally, the piece de resistance, was one of the beautiful Chanel bronzers from their current Summer Collection 2011, Fleurs d’Ete. I'd wanted this, since I first set eyes on it, on several different beauty blogs...!

Soleil Tan de Chanel 4 Facettes Bronzers– Bronze Corail (#537)

I've been really into bronzers of late, and what a pretty one this is=)

<3 <3 <3 what have you been loving recently?

hair-spiration!

2011-05-09T15:12:00.004+10:00

as i was perusing beauty blogs today, i came across a picture of Vivianna's that totally made me wish my hair was long and luscious as hers...

*le sigh* this was not the picture, but this was one of her posts about haircare. I am in deep love with this kind of hair...

unfortunately, even when my hair grows out, it tends to look more on the coarser end of thick, with volume in all the wrong places:( so I will be on the scout for shine serums that don't contribute to the greasiness of the scalp, and something that gives more volume around the crown...

and, as I wait for my hair to grow back out, I shall leave you with a few of my favourite hair-sprational pictures;)

I simply can't wait to try this

and this, on my hair!! =)

irreverance

2011-05-06T23:13:00.002+10:00

its Friday night, and i just painted my nails a hot coral colour last nite...and what's a 24 year old girl living in KL to do...?

i don't know about you, but of course, i am hiding at home, as per usual...

so what else is there to do, but peruse Facebook and have my share of semi-stalking behaviour, and I come across some pages & pictures of my ex-colleagues. I am instantly hit with a pang of nostalgia, which slowly churns my insides and the bile rises...as, I realise, I have lost it all...
My seemingly endless year of job-searching, enduring frightening dips of self-esteem, and hapless meandering through the streets that I virtuallymemorised...they have all amounted to this point in my life, where I am stuck in a limbo of W A I T I N G, once again.

It feels like I just don't belong. Neither here nor there. It seems, I have missed my boat in Malaysia now I am no longer a freshie graduate. And, it seems my heart starts to break, everytime I think back to my life in Melbourne a couple of months ago...My bile starts to rise, and I choke back the wave of bitterness and disappointment that threatens to overwhelm me.
Maybe, I am going about this the wrong way...perhaps I shouldn't look back, and just let bygones be bygones.

In the words that John Lennon once sang; Let it be, Let it be...

2011-01-08T10:05:00.003+11:00

so....I've neglected this space for far too long, it seems almost pointless for me to return. Aahh..screw that;)

Alot has happened, I don't remember when my last post was, but it feels like it was b4 I got my first "real" job=) it's one year going now, but ending soon, as I will be returning to Malaysia! And, on forth...a new chapter awaits to be written...,

I haven't had much time for the nostalgia to set in....but, I'm sure it will...which is why, I am trying to move fast, keep busy, with no time to look back, because that is always where I make my biggest mistake, one that I do so often, and most times pretty consciously, but...I am only human.

As I type, I feel the sadness start to creep in, and I blame my itchy fingers and my roving eyes....Am I mad? Can I be mad? I don't think it's worth it...

anyway, hope you have a great weekend...looking forward to 2011 :)

pS- happy new year, everyone!

2010-07-26T23:37:00.004+10:00

so, I'm feeling a little artsy-fartsy right now.....

I would also like to clarify;
(a) I don't even like the colour pink so much,
(b) I'm not even so much into full-head-of-curls.

BT.....

2010-07-25T14:12:00.003+10:00

i would definitely classify myself as the type that thinks far too much, and muses a whole lot, sometimes unnecessarily...but when it comes to communicating my thoughts into actual speech, written or spoken; i think i fail terribly...

recently, i have been spending almost all/most of my weekends at my boyfriends'....and today, is just one of the far between and few Sunday afternoons that I have chosen to actually opt out from spending time at his. it kind of feels weird now...something that i once did all the time, spending my Sundays, either out for a coffee or walking with my friends, or just mulling around @ home...and, i know very well, the next thing i say, is about to be as oxymoron-ic as it gets, but, i don't feel like being at his place either. i always end up freezing (to an even higher extent, in the suburbs), in a home that is not my own. Nope, not exactly a fun idea for a Sunday...hrmm...but what other fun ideas for a Sunday are there? Zilch. Or maybe, I'm not thinking hard enough:S

2010-07-10T23:08:00.003+10:00

so, its been a tiring week for me...but, a pretty eventful one at that;)
i can't believe tomorrow will be the final match of the World Cup 2010! it was disappointing that Portugal didn't get so far, but I am hoping, at least, Spain, the team that have knocked them out, will indeed take the Cup..! hahah...

hmmm....i'm also very much looking forward to this particular movie~~

C'est vrai, i have a problem...a huge one, at that

2010-05-23T11:07:00.006+10:00

I have to have to have to have to have to curb my shopping addiction.
there are clothes, beauty and cosmetics, more clothes, shoes (not so much of recently) :(

there goes my self control out the window...~ not to worry, i am not currently in debt or anything as serious as that, but i definitely should try to tone it down.
other than that, it has been freeeeeeeeeezzing in Melbourne. or it could be just me? i am also eating up a storm=.="

this entry is starting to sound like a confessional, so i will move on to something light now...like, a Tag:) whee!!

Got this Tag from StyleSuzi, a fantastic Youtube guru + blogger from the UK~~
will be doing 50 Random things, instead of the 100, as Suzi did...,

1) I'm a closeted makeup and fashion worshipper. or maybe, it has become more obvious of late??
2) Currently, has "Meet Me Halfway" by the Black Eyed Peas and "Untill We Bleed" by Kleerup (with Lykke Li) on heavy rotation.
3) Kind of missing my longer hair
4) I work at a bank.
5) Have been having a whole lot of dreams, good & bad, recently.
6) I wish I could draw.
7) Believes in ghosts.
8) Is crazy about ice-cream. Especially Baskin Robbins' Jamoca Almond fudge.
9) Haagen Dazs is worth worshipping;)
10) Wishes she blogs better.
11) Loves swings, of all the things in playgrounds.
12) Can't really imagine life without my BB glasses.
13) Prefers eating apples with their skins on.
14) I think I look more like my mum.
15) Is very grateful for all that life has brought her so far.
16) Has a lot of trouble with decision-making. Like A LOT.
17) It's Sunday, today. Work tomorrow...!
18) Sophia Bush is gorgeous.
19) watching a muted, previously watched episode of One Tree Hill.
20) Only likes the first sip of beer, and can't enjoy the rest.
21) Just noticed her phone is MIA.

one of my favourite web haunts include leblogdebetty

here's a sneak preview, for the curious and fashion-hungry at heart...

2010-04-18T01:08:00.002+10:00

so, i'm at another rather weird phase in life...where important decisions are due to be made. i find it terribly ironic that i feel as if i somehow always have to make decisions in life a couple of years earlier than the average person usually does...like, how was i to know what i really wanted to pursue in life at 15, upon graduating from high school?
well, theres nothing much to be done about those decisions for now...it seems that those last eight years just passed within a blink of my eye. hahah..especially the last three years or so. time really does fly when one is enjoying oneself...
hmmms...never one for planning so much, i have to think up my future now apparently. im not so sure how i feel about that. bcoz i used to 'dream' of my future....but now, its just staring blankly ahead of me.

why does trying to come up with a 'plan', make me more lost than ever before?

New Year of the T-I-double G-RRRRR

2010-02-16T23:44:00.005+11:00

Gong Xi Fa Cai!~~ Happy New Year of the Tiger~ woottt! its my year again, rooooaarr! and a Happie Valentines Day as well..! <3

Interesting that this year, we should have a double celebration of love and family:) although, i do miss the CNY celebrations back home, I'm thankful to have been able to spend it with a very special person:)

Yesss, he's finally back from his long trip to the States & China...! Which means that he has managed to lug back a whole stash of goodies back pour moi from all across the Atlantic;p *joy*

It's an incredibly gratifying stash for any make-up and body product connoisseur, and, so rarely that such an occasion should occur, i just had to take a picture of the entire haul~^^

anyway, i made him buy all of the stuff, but i wasnt really expecting him to actually get most of the items on my pretty extensive list. and yes, i am absolutely in <3>

I always wanted to try the Urban Decay eye primer potion, so I got it in XL (Sin), and I've just tried it but am not suuuper crazy about it..as I personally believe Sin is abit too shimmery for everyday daily use. As for Nars blush in Orgasm, another cult product which i have not had the chance to try out as yet.

The AmazingCosmetics concealer in Light golden, pretty precisely matches my skin colour, and is as Amazing as it claims to be..! however, it came in such a small tube, i have to try real hard to skimp on using concealer. Another impressive buy was the Sephora colourful makeup palette in Warm, great variety of shades and good for experimenting, mixing and matching~

thats all for tonite, shall be back soon, with the rest of any other pictures~~ good nite

an epiphany. a dream.

2010-02-12T22:40:00.002+11:00

finally. i can take some direction...
being the restless itchy bottom that i am has never been easy, for me nor those around me.
my recent thoughts have been about home. CNY, and the like.
So, i have set a plan for myself... or a timeline, somewhat.
A year, in this job, and if i still cant get anywhere, I shall simply leave for greener pastures, preferably, in another country...
I'm so over melbourne, but what the heck...I might as well stay til the TR runs out...and, meanwhile, i just have to keep applying elsewhere, and working on my pet projects.
it fills me with a sense of things to come, and not just a sense of foreboding over the near future and whats about to happen.
i am, once again, in control of my direction for the next year, at least~~

2010-01-11T21:27:00.002+11:00

hrmms...for what it's worth (and i realise, it's not Mother's day for another few months or so..), I really love my Mum.
for those who know me, I am not particularly close to my Mum, as in I do not have the ritual of calling them every once, or even few times, a week to talk about everything under the sun. Nope, that's just not me. Just ask my Mum, she is always grumbling about what a lousy clinger I am.
However, today, as I was checking out my lil' sister's page on Facebook, I came across a particular photo, with a familliar person with her back facing the camera in the background. Instantly, I recognised the navy oversized jumper and auburn bob. I could even picture in my head, her very delicate and long fingers brushing the material of the clothes she was browsing. Maybe she was wearing her rings, maybe not. I felt a rush of emotion as I remember her voice, when she was doing something calm, like folding the clothes or just winding down after a long day. Days like those, when she was the intelligent, bright and tactful woman who everyone wished their mum was like. I envisioned my mum sowing my loose buttons or hemming my trousers which were always too long for me, wrapping my schoolbooks before the start of the new term....I also realised the frailty of my mum, how she had positively zilch sense of direction, and her keen sense of worry. Makes me worry for her....
I know, I initially didn't want to go on another holiday with the family, but then, ahhh.....screw that part!

Happy Neeeuuuu Year!

2010-01-03T01:21:00.004+11:00

as i listen to this song again, i feel all the feelings of hurt and pain seep back in slowly...
of course, it's different this time, because time has dulled the edges of these emotions. it is of little significance, many other different memories have taken precedence over that memory of you.
now, i just relish that slight melancholy which provides a distraction to my more recent wound.

Happy New Year 2010!

like i said before , I dont really believe in New year resolutions, but if I had to pick, it would be to improve my EQ, IQ (virtually unlikely) and to become an overall stronger person. Oh yeah, and get RICH too! hahahah...yep...enjoy the year ahead, everyone! Its gonna b another heck of an awesome one;)

2009-11-17T22:59:00.002+11:00

oops! i promised myself i wouldn't count the days, but i was just flipping and noting down in my planner, which prompted me to count the weeks till the 31st of January, it seems like an awful lot of weeks to go, if the weeks that went by are going by like the last week or so...
*sigh*

okaii, thats quite enough self-pity, im kinda thankful for having an early morning tmw...busy busy busy, pleaseeee....

2009-11-12T09:53:00.002+11:00

so, its been hot and balmy the past few days...and seems to continue to be for the next week, at least...it's nothing at all like KL, but yeah, theres nothing quite like home anyway~

home, what kevin brought up with me has got me missing home again. now that I have job, would I want to give that up & go back home anyway? hmm...it's still too early to tell, and too early to decide as well...i miss KL, and now i just miss it more..hahah..this is what happens when we are spoilt for choice~

hmm...i miss him most in the mornings, when there's no one to roll into:)
i refrain from counting down til the day he gets back, and have opted to taking it day after day, instead...~
experiencing hot weather in melbourne always brings nostalgia to me, of the Xmases spent here, our summer escapades, summer jobs, chilling, lazy Saturdays and such...its time to make new ones~ so, here's to a memorable summer '09!

2009-11-09T00:31:00.000+11:00

blw

2009-10-01T11:21:00.002+10:00

i'm happy to announce that my bestie in mebourne has found a job, and as a graduate architect no less! :) she started on the day she got her interview~

and, i'm well, almost employed, holding my breath still....,

other than waking up wayy too early today (7 thirty AM), i am determined to enjoy the rest of my day, despite the abundance of pollen in the Melbourne spring air.

i finally watched a movie, (500) days of Summer, and it was cute, not fantastic but my kind of movie, i guess...;) i wont spoil it, by providing a description.

its been awhile...

2009-09-06T17:53:00.003+10:00

hello there.

i'm officially super bored again.

the infamous job hunt ensues.

and, i am missing another partner-in-crime again, this year (booo...i miss you ruth!),

but the good news is we have another member;p Orangie a.k.a. Ee Ling~~

more upd8s soon, hopefully...;)

anywhere but here

2009-07-20T02:06:00.001+10:00

just came back from 1-Utama, my first shopping session upon arriving in KL..gosh, i have missed shopping in kl so so much..not so much the enormous crowds, and the difficulty of finding parking though..on the way home, disaster struck, as we were filling up on petrol on the way home. tempers flared, voices raised subconsciously, and i got the similar constriction in my throat i always encountered, when faced with a difficult or stressful situation. and then realisation hit me. This was exactly what I used to hate and motivate me from being anywhere else but here.sure enough, i have missed KL so much, the lifestyle, the food, the shopping, the places, the sights, but i always knew i just couldnt stay with my family. its odd, but i just feel very upset over their pointless bickering...perhaps i am too sensitive, but i honestly, just can't stand it.on the other hand, melbourne is old for me. its boorishness drives me almost insane, let alone its lack of choice and international-influence inadequacy..

so, what then, can i do? what other choice do i have?

an emptiness that envelopes me whole.

2009-04-19T20:09:00.003+10:00

alot of time has passed, and yet, i am still as unwise as I have always been.
have i not learnt anything?

it seems that nothing much has changed at all.
the ugliness that rears its head is as I expected, did it come very soon? - make this a reminder of why I chose to be me, for this long. perhaps, i have become incapable of giving.

numb. the notions are the same, although I tried my best to contain myself.

& as I continue to push myself further toward the edge, the only one who can't seem to see the simple truth is my very own self.

Happie New Year ~

2009-01-11T21:55:00.004+11:00

happiee, happiee new year!!

ok, so i am eleven days late ;p but who's counting anyway..hahahh

Yay! another new year dawns upon us...and it brings great promise; of fresh beginnings, of new starts, of new challenges to overcome, of new experiences to savour and new opportunities to break through~
this year, i am not making any new year resolutions, simply because i dont want to make it a habit of using the New Year as a petty excuse to form and try to withhold resolutions. Resolutions for betterment should be formed during anytime we see fit and realise we need to change for the better, and not just during the coming of a New Year..~

anyhow, i hope the new year brings great happiness and joy to all, and may we all take a step closer to the dreams we hold dearest in our hearts~~

a little too much...

2008-12-31T01:30:00.004+11:00

do u know the feeling?
it is as if . . .
when we see a car accident by the side of the road, but we can't seem to tear our eyes away from it? and as the terrible, tragic scene unfolds, i just cant help myself...

there is pain from just plain watching, yet i cant seem to remove my attention...
why is that?

why, do i continue to observe something that seems so painful, so sad...and, to make matters worse; i know, i can be terribly sensitive.
its hard to watch, but i do it anyway....
it has become a reflex of mine, a habit, even.

there was once a period, where i thought i wouldn't want to take everything so seriously. but, i have learned that it is a nearly impossible feat.
life is so short and fleeting, and i want to fill mine with passion. my passion happens to be making the world a better place, no matter how small the effort;)

i think too much.
i ask too many questions.
i feel abit too much as well.

i wonder, can i be cured?

2008-12-15T23:56:00.006+11:00

another well-deserved photo upd8, so u wont totally despise me for my gnarly postss~

Suryanto's 2*th birthday celebration @ Belgian Beer Cafe, Eureka Towers & VII~~ [14112008]

Ruth, me and Hui San~

the birthday boy! making his birthday wish

a group picture outside~^^

me and Hui San + Darren

Breakfast Pyjamas party @ Carlton Gardens [06122008]

Melissa, me and Ethan

Happy Couple 1: Bryan + Melissa

happie feet:)

girls^.^

2008-12-15T23:40:00.005+11:00

oh. my. goodness....

happiness is meant to be sought after. i am seeking my happiness. my pure, unadulterated bliss.

i believe, that was an affirmative.

and she smiled from her <3

please ignore me.

2008-12-11T22:55:00.002+11:00

rain, rain and more rain...or so the forecast predicts for the rest of the few days ahead.

well, it's not really that i hate the rain or anything...except that it hinders or 'out-and-abouts' :(
ohh wells, so our project is well and truly under way...and maybe thats why, it seems as if time is just whizzing by recently. or have i grown too accustomed to taking my own sweet time that i have spent all of it doing little of anything? *ponders*

today....is just one of those days.
a day when one wakes up and questions one's self;

why? why is my skin so imperfect? why is my complexion not flawless?

why is my eyes even smaller than it used to be? why is the skin around still icky and peeling?

why am i so round? why is my face so immensely heinous?

why am i not skinny? why am i so * * * ?

::shakes head in disappointment:: talk about low self-esteem...le sigh

joyeux anniversaire, mon Janice~~!

2008-12-06T19:28:00.003+11:00

ouch....my eyes still haven't recovered yet....:(

anyways, its my dearest darling not-quite-a-baby-anymore sister, Janice's birthday today~~~~~ gosh, jie jie misses u so unbelievably much! *le sigh*

hope you have a gr8 celebration @ Pavillion, and a grand ball of a sleepover...even though, it wouldnt be half as fun without me there;p

well, i just came to a conclusion rather recently, that my life is just almost very nearly perfect:) hahahh...why, almost? because i believe that in reality, perfection is pretty darn unattainable (see....and people say i'm hard to please! ::rolls eyes::)

i have my super parents, who have given me the opportunity and space to grow and test my boundaries, and are supporting me in every way imaginable at a time when i needed it most.

i have my three incredibly different, yet sweet sisters.

and of course, my amazing bunch of good friends, right here in Melbourne & from Sayfol.

i feel so grateful and happy to be so incredibly blessed.

so, i'm trying....trying to do my very best to stay strong, and be optimistic. To persevere through these so-called rough times. To strive hard toward achieving what I really want in life. To remember to be grateful for all the wonderful things I have, and never take things for granted.

h o m e s i c k

2008-12-02T00:29:00.003+11:00

home home home home...
is where my <3 is.

i miss KL so much...its sickening, and i think, im even tired of whining to myself about it =.="

okaii, i am ready to admit defeat,
i want to go home...

Daddy~~~ i want to come home!

if only, i could just say so :(

angsty

2008-11-27T22:51:00.004+11:00

im terribly disappointed in myself...and i wonder, where has the old me gone?
i feel as though im losing a sense of myself...a grip of who i used to be?

i did as i pleased and i never felt any obligation to explain my actions or justify them, because deep down, i knew, the people who i loved so dearly will never need to know why, but just accept me as i am.

but just today, i felt so flustered by a question asked of me. why? because the reality is, i dont know the answer to the question. i just do things the way i want to. but yet, i felt compelled to give a more definite answer. *stress* i just couldnt bring myself to reply "because thats the way i like it" and leave everyone to be happy with that.

anyways, i'm just so tired...of all these hard questions.

yeah, i know, life is tough and all, but i need to bury myself in happy thoughts for now..because, i really bring myself to my usual (?) headstrong self. not today. just not today...

so, please. dont. question. me. because. i. really. dislike. giving. u. a. rubbish. answer.

+.+

where do i go from here?

2008-11-20T22:55:00.002+11:00

wasn't it just so easy when we were young?
when every direction was given, every step planned out way ahead of time...

now, faced with all the freedom to pursue exactly what i want in life. there is a long moment of hesitation. as i ponder, is this what i really, really, really wanted?

and now, what becomes of those dreams to travel the world?

to immerse myself in the millions of different cultures of the world?

to lend a helping hand to those in need of it?

then, i realised, this is the part of growing up that hurts the most.

squashing all our many dreams, hopes and such back into our little box of 'close-to-our-<3s', to be kept, until.....well, further notice :S

mon petite cousin, pour toujours.

2008-11-18T18:14:00.002+11:00

i woke up this morning and remembered, today is your birthday...
it would have been your big 2 - 0,
you would have had a blast, or i would have liked to think we would have had a blast, because u came to Melbourne to stay with me and Jama.....hmmsss...but alas, maybe God had better plans for you.

anyways, happie birthday to you,
happie birthday to you,
happie birthday deare Priscilla,
happie birthday to you:]

xx remember always always

because im like that.

2008-11-14T01:48:00.003+11:00

i dislike ambiguity, and confusion. amongst other things....
i like things concise, clear and completely straightforward. and that is why i have been so adamant to be so honest.

at the moment, my direction is still unclear and hence, ambiguous. so, i really have alot of research and consideration ahead of me tomorrow...
well, at least, that gives me some plans for tomorrow:)

as for the confusion....i really cant decide if im happie or not about it...because the conversation could mean alot, or nothing at all. i dont want to analyse it, and i certainly, dont want to be upfront about it.
im praying that my happiness wasnt unfounded, though:)

mes cheries~

2008-11-06T23:49:00.007+11:00

u know what?

i really,
really,
really,
really
miss
US

i miss our genuine smiles, our carefree times...
i miss the jokes, the banter, the <3 style="font-weight: bold;">Us.

it's just been way too long...since we were altogether:( but i know, one day, we will be reunited. and THAT will be the day ;)

~gros bisous pour mes cheries coeurs

the same choices, different scenarios ?

2008-11-03T16:13:00.004+11:00

im torn...

its highly uncharacteristic of me to feel homesick, and yet i guess, i shouldn't really be so surprised, seeing as I still feel the deep tinge of disappointment at the lack of control I exhibited on Friday nite..hrmm...Very uncharacteristic.

on another note...my family wants me to join them in KL for CNY this yearr:)
gosh knows, i reaally, reallly want to go back to KL again...

but at the same time, i want to find a job..to launch my career...to genuinely set off on my road to independence :s

ahahah.the choice seems so blatantly easy, and im so tempted . . .

but ahhhh....i have never been the type to pick the easiest ways . . .;)

of gorgeous-ness

2008-10-31T03:22:00.002+11:00

alrite...so, you don't really need to convince me...Italian men encompasses some of the most gorgeous male specimen in the world~ *mmmmhhh*

anyways, i had a good time at the Japanese nite, despite me being so irrationally shy towards him. gosh, what is it with me and not giving people chances? or should i say, not giving myself a chance? =.=" this borders from me being too much of a perfectionalist (*wonders* is there even such a word?)
well, i really dont know...
why? on one hand i can say; im open to happiness, yet i deny myself the chance subconsciously...?
why? is it that i realise my mistake...yet, when it comes to crunch time, i still get completely nervous and mess up instead?

seriously, i am better than this. i know better than to make the same mistakes. again.
yes, the solution is...practise
and so,

practice makes perfect

anyways, its latee...
buona notte~

because . . .

2008-10-27T23:18:00.006+11:00

we are all visual creatures (yes, i said all of us, are, admit it or not...)
the blog is in dire need of updates, picturewise ;)

Saturday, 25102008
dinner at Tusk, Chapel Street before Marie Antoinette: The Colour of Flesh

Jamie + her usual: icedchocolate

mummy

@ Prahran

pretty blossom tree:)

Monday, 20102008
lunch at Madame SouSou, Brunswick Street

main: le canard. with sweet and sour aubergine and dark chocolate sauce (i didnt enjoy it as much as i thought i would)

entree: blue cheese souffle with celery, walnuts and bread sauce (nice and, the walnuts were nyummy)

pre-entree??

mummy@ madame SouSou

random narcissistic shot of myself...yeah yeahh,i was trying to be pudgy and cute, but ended up looking pudgy and retarded. oh wells...

Saturday, 18102008
cycling from St Kilda to Brighton Beach (& back again)

Jack and Derek: touristy shot

Jack and Derek: the semi-crack-at-artistic shot

more backdated picturess soon..~

2008-10-18T00:52:00.002+11:00

and now, when i look at it in retrospect . . . it was a narrow escape, indeed.
i see; i'm not the only one who was under your scrutiny
and i am just one of the many of which hearts out there that you have previously broken.

anyways, thats all over now~~

today was as good a Friday as i have had in quite some time . . .
had brunch at Mart again, and it was almost perfect; good weather, good company and good food:)
of course, receiving the significant, petite, turquoise blue package wrapped in a white ribbon did make my already perfect day a little more brighter, if that was even possible;)
that silver heart toggle charm bracelet with the Eiffel tower charm is my Graduation present<3 and much thanks to my family!

although i've been feeling pretty disappointed at being so pointless for the past few weeks...i feel a change coming on, as my optimism mounts~ hopefully, for good:) and i remember again, that I shall always have the support and morale from those that are closest and dearest to me~

nitess

*goes off to dream about Paris*

2008-09-27T00:55:00.000+10:00

my head is spinning from the countless, worrying thoughts that have flown by my mind in the past day itself..

what if...they don't accept my application and don't grant the bridging visa?
what if...they don't even manage to recieve the courier i have sent, due to unforeseen circumstances?
what if...they insist i send my translated birth certificate before the 30th Sept?

yes, i think i am about to tripp over that fine line of sanity..or have i already crossed over? goshh..

what is with birthdays and these unfortunate events...like? why does it seem like i spent my 22nd birthday moping and sadly contemplating the prospect of being an illegal 'alien' in another 3 days..
or why was it that i on my 16th birthday, i was burying my grandmother in the cemetery in Muar and watching my dad experiencing the second most hardest and painful days of his life?

im not normally the type to be melodramatic...but, seriously..i need to be racking up some karma points soon~

on the other hand, Bistro Vue is pretty darn good~ i must say the desserts were abit so-so...but the mains were delicieux~ and overall it left me pretty happie with all the yummy food in my tummy;) my highlight of my 22nd bday~! yays!~~

2008-09-26T02:07:00.002+10:00

its 2.22am, and i cant sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep...
literally, im worried almost sick...because the thought of me being 'unlawful' and an illegal immigrant in Australia, as of the 30th of September is more than enough to make my stomach churn:S

i have never done anything illegal in my life, and yes, this is going to taint my prospects of applying for PR/ TR...whatever it is..gosh! i always say i have to stop doing things at the last minute...but *sighs* what the Fshhhhhhhhhhhhh.....im seriously panicking already:(

oh yeah, happie 22nd birthday to me...ha ha...
the irony is just too much..zoinking off now, because my brain is semi-retarded from stressing over my lawlessness..
ahhss...i miss those days when i dont need to know anything, and everything was done for me... >.<

2008-09-20T01:09:00.003+10:00

it is another friday night, and i am feeling rather blue...
no, dont misjudge me for wallowing in self misery for staying home on such a brilliant opportunity to be out and about, painting the city red...

nope. the real reason is quite the contrary, in fact.

after just getting off a video call with the rest of my beloved family back home, i am missing home, missing them. missing our moments and making funny faces just to make them laugh . . .sighs.
i have been moaning about my homesickness upon returning to Melbourne, and this time, i know, i have it really bad, as i have never been quite as homesick as this since . . . ever?

anyhow, i also think my dismal frame of mind is a direct result from the current listlessness i have been prone to recently.
upon 'graduating' and without studies to worry about, i am left afloat in the ocean of uncertainty that is life. i no longer have any plans, no agendas, no proper structure to adhere to...and yes, it certainly freaks me out.
there goes my whole list of tutorials to attend, assignment deadlines to highlight, exam dates, nonsensical study sessions and revision lectures..out the window:)

it is a bittersweet feeling indeed.

2008-09-15T21:59:00.003+10:00

not one of the finer days of melbourne weather today...but i am in a surprisingly upbeat mood today.

for the past few months or so, i have been unsure, undecided, unsteady...if i may call it that, lacking confidence and lacking a strong will and direction. i had unconsciously let things that have happened in my past tangle itself with the present and my eminent future. sure enough, i have graduated from Uni, but I didnt let this sink in with me previously as I had been afraid I might disappoint myself again.

but today, it all changes. because I cant let my fear of failing (from my past experiences) stop me from being happy and bully me from making more decisions. I have recognised my failure in the past, so now, I have to stop feeeling guilty for them and punishing myself for them. Instead, I should learn the lesson behind them and continue forth wiser and stronger than before....

other than that, i shall stop babbling on as nothing much has been happening to me ~ especially since coming back~
but anyways, at least im genuinely happy now:)

no more excuses.

2008-09-10T15:17:00.002+10:00

a new season has supposedly arrived in Melbourne, but my frozen fingers that tap on my silvery new keyboard is proof otherwise:(
so, it has been awhile . . . i have been back to the place which i will always call home, where the food is mostly too incredible to describe, where the warmth of old friends are sure to reach me despite the fact that i live in the most nether-reaches of suburban KL;) and where my beloved mum, dad and two youngest sisters make up a loving and irresistably amusing household~

i sincerely miss it.

maybe, i am biased since i was back there for a 'holiday' and i guess, it would be totally different working back there. so, i have to focus and snap myself back to the plan to GET somewhere. S O M E W H E R E, at least :)

2008-06-26T20:19:00.002+10:00

arghss....so lame. i only ever get sick once or twice a yearr tops..and this time, i had to be sick, just before the Daylesford tripp which i was looking so forward to =
well, i'm still going... it would just be fun-ner to not be sick now >.<

anywayssss...

my patience is seriously, serioussly running thin....i really don't enjoy babysitting =.="
goshh, the last time i checked the world doesn't just revolve around you...
and its really starting to get to me..so much so, my level of optimism is dangling dangerously low...
everyone has their own issues, but we all have to deal with them the best we can...and, yes, i can understand that you are young and all...you need time..but, i reaally dont know how else i can help you, and its depressing me.. grrrrrssss....

2008-06-14T00:05:00.002+10:00

no one likes a know-it-all

yess, sometimes, i know the answer to your question, but i choose not to answer it..because yes, the truth is simple; no one likes a know-it-all. me included!

so, yes, i do feel very UN-justified when someone mistook me for a know-it-all...! because, no, its not like i am dumb that i didnt know the answer, and yes! i was deliberately being polite to try not to be so smart-a$$. arghs..im so UNjustified. *grumbles grumbles*

seriously, i am soo tired of this kind of mis-matched timing of matters of the heart.

dunno what im talking about? take the classic story of romeo & juliet.

romeo and juliet are in love. but they are star-crossed lovers. in the end, juliet pretends to drink poison in an effort to be with romeo. romeo thinks juliet is dead, and he kills himself. now, juliet wakes up and findss her true love dead, so she in turn, kills herself to be with him. oh. my. god.

in real life, this tends to occur too..simply because of the 'games of love' people have tended to play. *shakes head in disapproval*...love is not so dramatic, nor is it complicated...just DONT play the stupid gamee...

i quit i quit...i dont mind losing the game or whatever. i just want what's important from it - the simple notion of Love.

2008-06-11T14:43:00.003+10:00

ohh gosh, there are just so many things so seriously wrong with me, that i really have alot to be thankful for:)

Jamie, my younger sister living in Melbourne with me now, and a few other close frends of mine constantly tease me for always having high expectations/ standards. . . and at the risk of sounding like a snob, yeah, i do admit to my tendency to set particularly high benchmarks for myself sometimes - one example is, the expectation i had of beating my own previous 7.5 score for the IELTS test...yes, i realised that a 7 is sufficient enough to apply for PR~ but yeah, the satisfaction i get from achieving that higher score gives me the validation i need to propel me into reaching for my own goals and dreams..~

anyways, i used to take these little jokes of me having higher-than-normal standards as a somewhat-underhanded compliment, until i realised it got less and less funny...particularly when, i realised i had a bad habit of super-imposing these expectations on myself.

it is a well-known fact, that not one person is entirely perfect. and yet, it has become like second nature for me to expect only second-to-none perfection from my ownself...so, where in the world does this double standard leave me? =.="
the downside of this cruel cycle of overachievement, leaves me struggling to feel the happiness, even when i have tried my best and/or achieved something substantial...

and perhaps, my second craziest pet quirk has got to be, the ability to argue every single argument i have so fairly within myself...hahahah...
i like to think of it as one of the funny quirk i have adopted from being born under the star sign Libra (the scales) but, who reaaally knows where i got this super annoying trait from.
one of the issues i used to argue within myself was the one about my parents not being very liberal about my night-time curfew when I'm in Malaysia. i remember so well, how i used to get sooo upset and revel in the unfairness of not being able to go out till the wee hours in the morning, like how all my other frends could..:(
then, on the other hand, i could clearly understand my parents' position in fearing for their daughter's safety...after all, prevention is better than cure~>.<"
..so, what happened most of the times was, i would end up swallowing my own bitterness and just not asking my parents for permission to go out...just because, i know it wouldnt do any good to ask them anyways. i had much rather not even have an answer than hear them say no, which made me fall in even-more-dislike for them...
even my frends get annoyed when i argue both sides of every storyy..but, imagine having this kind of argument in your own head...~ it seriouslly can drive a person madd..~! hahah...not that i am! ;p

anyways, despite all these crazy quirks...i am relatively normal la..
there was once upon a time, when i used to think i was 'complicated', but no...i can safely say, i am beyond my complications..! and i know now, that your life is as simple / complicated as you make it to be, because;

we have all the answers we will ever need for now.
deep down, we know the answers to every question, but sometimes, we say its complicated because, we, for some reason or another, do not really like/ are in denial of the correct answer:)

its been a long post of my crazy ranting which i shall end here..until another time, xOxO~

2008-06-04T12:59:00.003+10:00

i have recently been listening to alot of Death Cab for Cutie's songs...

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you do, they're half empty and half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

from 'Marching Bands of Manhattan'

its already the middle of the year. what seems like a blink of an eye ago, it was just New Year's day, and in yet another blink of an eye...it will probably Xmas again..yay! my absolute favourite holiday of the year..! ^^

2008-05-31T22:44:00.004+10:00

i have just finished watching 'the kite runner' and it is such a beautiful story~~
really is a must see, although i haven't read the book yet and cant say how much justice it does to the literature:)
it is quite a sad story which is heartfelt, and prompts us to rethink our previous perceptions of the Afghan community...watching the movie has only reinforced my beliefs that the best gifts of all, in our highly volatile, contemporary environment is peace and basic human rights, which i must admit, i have taken for granted of most of the time.
one of the things i have learnt from the film is that, no matter what language we speak or what culture we were brought up in, or what country we come from or were born in, we are actually united by the simple dreams 'for our children to grow up to be good persons, and that the flowers will bloom in the streets, that music will play and resound in our houses and kites will fly in the skies . . .'
anyways, certainly go and watch the movie yourself to really understand the beauty in such simple wishes...:)

*******

2008-05-27T17:43:00.006+10:00

well, this morning was the quintissential dismal wintry Melbourne morning (with showers predicted), but i was determined not to miss out on my very last lecture of the semester - and perhaps, of university...

i decided to wear my relatively new Snow-White's-wicked-stepmother's-apple-red pointy-toed shoes today, which i realised was coincidentally the same colour as the annoying, large spot on my upper left cheek!! i have since dubbed it the no-stress-stress-pimple, me being totally devoid of stress, am having stress coping with no stress at all...! anyways, here is the picture of the blasphemous spot . . .

what!! of course, i didnt really take a picture of it and expect you to continue reading..hahah..probably, half of you would have stopped scrolling down already, on the account of my being kinda scaryyy..and idiotic:)

anywaysss . . . i do have some pictures of what i have recently spent my hard-earned savings on as a result of an impromptu Friday afternoon tripp to the Spencer Street DFO...le sigh! at this rate, im not going to have any money to shop in HK...*boohoo*

criminally divine, yet possibly terminally painful, satin grey pumps

i'm not normally a dress person, so this is one of the VERY few dresses i happen to own...which i bought on a sortof whim, since i have no function to wear it to...yet

both of which are from Witchery~

anyways, having so much free time recently, has lead to my almost religious following of news via MX, yes, i am aware, it is not exactly the most reliable nor the most intelligent sources for important current affairs and such, but a small & nondescript piece in the MX today caught my eye. It was an article about how the current uniform worn by girls in Malaysian government schools has been proclaimed to be "too sexy and that it contributed to rape and other immoral acts" by a certain National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia.

what

the

fishhhhhhh....

so, i decided to cross-check and managed to find three related articles in the Star newspaper, which basically confirmed the details from the story in the Mx newspaper.

although, i didnt have to wear the same uniform (a white blouse and a blue cotton knee-length skirt or blue cotton pinafore), i certainly wouldnt define them as appearing provocative or sexy...! but the point is not that...the bigger point they are implying is their belief that the clothes a woman wears is the cause of her being a victim of sexually-committed crimes!?!!

and to which, the Education Minister, the Honourable Datuk Seri Hishamuddin Tun Hussein replied,

“It is unfair to punish women and children for the clothes they wear for the act
of the rapist,”

adding that he could not allow such stereotyping to continue.
He personally felt it was unfair to blame the students or their uniforms for sexual crimes committed against them, and further stated that

“Clothing is not the main consideration for those who commit despicable acts
like these,"

which I thought was a very diplomatic and excellent retort to the incredibly ignorant claim made by the National Islamic Students Association of Malaysia. *applauds the Education minister* thank gosh for ministers like him, who restore my faith and respect for the Malaysian political arena.

^^ anyways, ending my rant now...~

Bonne soiree~~ or goodnitess, in English!

2008-05-19T23:11:00.001+10:00

ouch....for once, the skin on my face is so dry that it hurts..well, certain parts of it anyway =.=

well, just thought i would have a small break between my French and Economics homework...ahahah..no kidding, i have been working, or should i say studying extra hard these past two weekss..~ yeahh, for once in my four (.5) years of undergraduate life, i have really been a 'full-time student'...the irony! >.<

i just watched Iron Man today...and yes, i admit, i wasnt impressed by the fact that it was coming out in the first place, but do not mistake my indifference as a cause for me to object to watching the movie..simply said, i was just not bothered to watch it....
anyways, after all the rave reviews and finally watching it myself...i found the movie....so-so only, still..hahahah..but yeah, it wasn't my inner cynic this time...i just didnt really like the whole US-Iraq / Middle East/ Afghanistan war theme of the movie.

anyways, im out of unhelpful and inconstructively-critical movie reviews for now...good nitess deareS~

2008-05-17T00:27:00.002+10:00

i missss my heavy straight fringeeeee!!~~ okaii,, so please excuse my uber-powerful narcissistic streak..:)

hrmmss...well, other than that, I'm picking up my French again..goshh...thanfully, i remember my bits and pieces, although the main difficulty was in trying to use them in sentences..hahahh..

I finally watched 27 dresses today, and it was a good chick flick, better than I'd like to admit it to be;p it also helped that James Marsden is so ridiculously cutee with his deep dimpless...::<3 melts::

and unbelievably, it is apparently nearing the end of the semester with less than three weeks to go before exams period starts..ahahah..how lost i am with the goings-on of normal uni life...im the silly, almost-blisfully-free student whose pining for the life of the working class...eheheh..thats the funny thing about humans, isnt it? we are never really satisfied with what we have, and always yearn for more..

well, i guess you were right all along.
i really was immature, and my words definitely proved your point. i see it from a different perspective and realised that not long after it all happened, but yeah...it is much more vivid now than ever.
i know now, that it was terribly insensitive of me to say such things, and i have learnt from it, so, all i can say now is . . .

thanxx, for this lesson learnt:)

2008-05-05T22:21:00.002+10:00

i am not feeling well today, despite the nicer weather..~

my melancholy has brought the lyrics from a song by Rachael Yamagata titled 'I wish you love' to my mind...

"I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss,
but more than this
I wish you love . . . "

the song doesn't represent what i am currently thinking or feeling about someone in particular at the moment, and yeah, i am just going to be so random today.

i miss my family.
missing my mum, my dad, my nice-nice, and my hunnybunny Jez.
will be seeing them soon :)

2008-05-01T11:41:00.013+10:00

a distinctively sodden and unbelievably chilly side to Melbourne just makes me wish i belonged to a different species of mammal, which actually goes into hibernation during the cold months of winter! hahahh...well, the truth is, im not exaclty denied the privilege of hibernating under my sheets on this fine first day of May . . . since i have nooo class today, and still u.n.e.m.p.l.o.y.e.d =[

oohhss..crapp..i'm quite embarassed to say that i was sucked into the immensely cliched and not-exactly-classy production of Malaysia's first online reality model search - Malaysian DreamGirls ! ohmygosh..and i cant believe it, Hanis didnt win!! awww....well, i thought she was the most worthy of winning the title amongst the final three, although i thought that Adeline did really well during a few of the challenges, which made me think she was more suited for acting in commercials and acting in general and not so good at modelling per se. as for Cindy, i prefer not to comment, since i cant quite figure her out from just watching the small happenings and goings-on in the house... but if there was one lil' thing i did notice was her innate way of being dishonest about certain obvious facts. take example one, the time when TV host, JP (who is cute, can!) came to the Dreamhouse, and she was ranting on about how JP had such a profound personality, and how he left such an impression, that three girls dreamt of him the nite after he visited them...

oh pleeeeaaasee..how can one begin to even fathom another's 'personality' from meeting them during the few hours they managed to spend together (in a huuge group, i might add)?? ohmygosh...at least be honest la...if he's hot, then he's just hot! if you think he's good looking and, u like him because of his outlook, then at least be honest and say so la...its so much worse to seem like such an obviouss liar than to be judged for having a crush on someone based on the way they look...erghss..*ends rant*

ahahah..sorry, *buey tahan* already because it was too obvious...! ^^

anyways, im sure Hanis will go onto gr8r thingss and succeed, and gosh..i wonder whats happening with Fiqa, my personal favourite of the girls..shes just soooo sweeeeeet i thinkk:)

hrmms..well, since i havent been posting many pictures lately . . . ill just let them do the work for me this time . . .

29032008

yummy hot pot during EarthHour - thanxx Denise!!

the Queen of hot pot ~ Denise Lee

who also is a poutaholic. . .

Jovi + Jamie a.k.a. Cute Couple #1

31032008

Hui San, birthday girl @ Vons, Hardware Lane ~ 01/04

dearee with the impromptu birthday cake~~

17042008

Soon Shin + Ethan + Cheng Yee @ Kobe Jones, Docklands for SS' bday dinner

Mark

the birthday boy ~~ Soon Shin 25/04

tempura.

mixed sushi.

salmon skin sushi.

soft shell crab.

myself + Bryan

the funny shark-fin shaped building from docklands

2008-04-20T16:54:00.003+10:00

weird and weirder

been having those dreams when i believe that i have woken up and done stuff straight from getting out of bed, things that i didnt want to do..then, suffered the strangest sort of deja vu , of the 'crap-did-i-really-just-do-that-or-was-i-just-dreaming?' variety...
i get really confused about if i really did the silly things i dreamt about once i actually do wake up, because these dreams seem too realistic to have not taken place but at the same time, to idiotic to have really taken place=.=

yesterday, i met up with two individual persons that were part of different periods of my past, both of whom i have not seen in an invariably long time...

firstly, i met up with Tang for lunch, who i have knew for just barely a semester, be4 she graduated and went back to Thailand, where she currently has a promising career at ExxonMobil~ which isnt surprising at all, considering she was one of the really smart ones at uni, and one of the sweetest as well~

i remember, i was in awe of her genuine sense of giving the day, she dropped by in the city with some of her own home-cooked japanese curry chicken and carrot cake, because she knew i was staying by myself at that time. one of my best, level-headed frends who i turn to for advice~~ it was gr8, having not seen her in the past one and a half years...~

the second person i met up with was someone i have known since high school, Robin....during which, there was a short period of time in which we sort of were together~ hahah...cant believe it has been around 8 years since...! well, Robin was definitely very surprised that my parents aren't as strict as they were with me in the past and well, i think, Robin has always been quite mature and independent even during high school, so i believe that much hasnt changed..and perhaps, more serious in building his own future now~

anyways, its about time i went to sleep already~ need to correct my sleeping habits once again..~ ttfn-

2008-03-11T12:55:00.002+11:00

when will we ever learn?

that the only person(s) we can truly depend on is ourselves, and our family.

the truth is certainly not easy to hear lest accept, but the sooner we accept it, the better off we are.

one of my good friends has just broken up with her boyfriend of several months.....yes, i can relate to the utterly miserable and broken mood she is currently experiencing but i just don't really know how to console her, because the simple fact is, there is truly no consolation i can offer rite now.....

the only consolation i can possibly offer is to make her boyfriend be in love with her again.

but unfortunately, life just doesn't work that way. people fall in love and for whatever reasons, that it doesnt work out...it just means, they dont love you enough to hold on OR, they were never in love with you in the first place.
well, for whichever reason it may be, life still goes on~ and though, it may take some time to heal.....that which you have survived, can only make you stronger in the end.

2008-02-24T11:55:00.002+11:00

arghss...left my phone at home today when i realised i was running late for work~
::smirks:: anyways, its highly unlikely anyone important (ie. someone offering me a fabulous job or someone informing me i have unexpectedly inherited a gazillion dollars from an incredibly wealthy and distant relative) will even call on a sunday...::daydreams on::

well, the good news is i am able to access the internet and hence, blog online at work...
the downside is, if i get caught somehow...there goes the job *lol* however, i must say there is thr teensiest buzz from blogging from doing something semi-forbidden..(omgosh, there was just the proof of my apparent goody-two-shoeness) =.="

anyways.s...::lets out bored sigh:: im bored, bored BORED with this job already.....and now, seriously worried about getting a job in the future which manages to continuously capture my interest...

hahahah..guess i better stop daydreamin'/blogging now and actually (pretend to) work..ttfnz~

2008-02-20T00:07:00.002+11:00

omgoshh...its soo hot...buey tahan arhh..grrss....
anyways, i just realised i have been neglecting my blog again....><

well, so farr things have been getting better...~

my silly lil' sister Jamie, hui san and soon shin are all back in melbournee~~
i have upgraded my phone to the....sony ericsson W910i in red (well, it was jamie's wish really), but i think, jamie is more excited about the new phone than i am~ ahahah..but im pretty sure, the novelty of the phone will wear out soon enough and she will want another one soonn~
hrmss..and lastly, uni is starting again next week~

hahahah..my blog entries get more and more dry everytime..lolz..anyways, thats all for now...good nitez*

happie cny?

2008-02-07T01:10:00.000+11:00

Gong Xi Fa Cai~~!! Xing Nian Kuai Le~~! happiiee CNY to everyy1~
hrmss..the ushering of a prosperous new year is supposed to be a joyous event shared by our family. this is my second time spending CNY in melbourne and its reaallyy...well...different=] no cheesyy annoying chinese new year songs on the radio, no extremely noisy firecrackers to shatter our most vivid of dreams, no embarassing fumbling with my terrible mandarin trying to communicate with my dad's relatives, no gross bugs and unbearable heatwave to battle with during our stay in the kampung..lolzz..nope, i dun miss it...but what i do miss is the incredibly yummmyy Yee Sang and my grandmother's pineapple jam tarts ::mouth waters::, and our crazy 'cincai' mahjong sessions at Uncle Chong's house, my midnite ghost story and catch-up sessions with my favourite cousins, and my goshh...ang pows, of course..lolz!! i even enjoy the road trip back to Batu Pahat and Muar sometimes..~
but this year, is the year that i know i didnt miss anything...
this year, on the fifth year of my paternal grandmother's passing away, my mum and three sisters decided not to go back to Muar or Batu Pahat for CNY...they decided to stay at home this year instead.
ironically, im here. my dad is in Muar and my mum and three sisters are back home...sighs.

i hope that my dad drives back safely from Muar on Saturday.
i hope that my mum and sisters are safe alone at home this Chinese New Year.
i wished that there is more i could do than just hope.

2008-02-05T00:23:00.000+11:00

muahahahah......i got my eight on the IELTS test..wheee~!!!~~~ ::ecstatic::
i was soo nervous opening the result today, and the background had to be so dark that it seemed hard to decipher the printing of the actual result! goshhh =.="
but anyways, i DID it...beat my last score~~ lolz! i got a 8.5 for listening and writing, 8.0 for speaking and a 7.0 for the reading..*sighs* oh well....~

anyways, i've decided i actually quite like the new route to Boxhill, and the suburbs that i passed on the way there seem quitee nice, with the exception of Glenferrie (which i am adamant about still smeells like a zoo!!)

*wistful* it seems, just as soon as that time started...the time for them to leave melbourne came as soon..last nite, mun yee and grace were the last of the group going back to malaysia (and brunei, for grace) for good...and it was just genuinely sad to watch them go..first, cayvian left on tuesday...followed by euvince and jennifer on thursday...then chee yaw last nite...seriously, dont think i could have handled any more goodbyes at this stage. it seems like almost everyone is gone...back home. and in these moments, i ask myself, why am i still here? why didnt i go back home? why am i so stubborn not to go back home when my parents already gave me permission to? hrmss..then i have to calm myself down and remember; wherever i am, i cant run away from my thoughtS...i have to face them, deal with them or do something about them...so that, i wont have any regrets and be stuck wondering about the past when everyone else has already moved on...

2008-01-24T10:00:00.000+11:00

i just took a quick personality test on the Chandler Macleod website, which i just thought was really true...so true that i think it coincides with my non-work life as well~ lolzz..

anyways, just thought i would share it since it was pretty accurate for me~

You display the following dominant style(s):

Normal

Mover

Deliberator

'NMD' style
The emotional responsiveness and variability of the MD will now be under some control from the N factor. Under stress, there will still be demonstrated cyclical behaviour - optimism followed by pessimism, cheerfulness followed by despondency, energy followed by lethargy - but the person will disguise (to some extent) how they feel and the mood swings will be far less apparent. There will be more constructive use of the energy and enthusiasm and there will be some tendency for the pessimistic ideas not to weigh them down quite so much. The effect is to smooth out the emotional display.
NMD style people will seek company, will be friendly and open communicators and welcome the opportunity to interact successfully with other people. They will seek the controlled expression of their emotions and they will generally be more even-tempered, making them more effective in the people area. They feel pressure at the work place when they are isolated from the group, for the group serves not only to satisfy social needs, but also gives them a feeling of security and belonging. They do not by nature want to take the leading role so, if forced by circumstances into authority situations or into decision-making, some anxiety will occur. They will try to get general agreement, decision making by consensus, rather than stipulating what must happen. They would especially be anxious and uncertain if they were forced into decision-making that adversely affected a member of their group and, similarly, they do not want to have to criticise fellow members.
Their work style is very much that of the willing contributor who wants to know exactly what they are supposed to be doing and who expects to be trained fully for their job. They willingly accept a strong person's legitimate authority but they expect to be managed in a friendly, encouraging style and, when that happens, they will be a willing contributor who abides by the group's norms.
They are not keen on being pinned down to repetitive, routine style activity and essentially, there needs to be a communication aspect to their role, rather than work in isolation. Their interpersonal style is that of the group participant. They love the opportunity to talk with others, to share what they have, and they will be generous with their possessions and equally generous in sharing their feelings or their ideas. There is a controlling factor (via the N) that prevents too much exaggerated emotional display, but their responsiveness is very much present and will be an integral part of their behaviour. There is not a lot of social sensitivity present however, so they may inadvertently tread on the toes of the more sensitive, but there is no intention on their part to hurt other people's feelings.
They work with people because they like them, not because they hold formal authority and they will go out of their way to sustain the group norms or the group ethic. Errors they make are unintentional and mainly brought about through lack of focus.

2008-01-23T23:16:00.000+11:00

ive been reading my old blog on multiply, purely for my own amusement and it certainly was a very eventful 2007/2006..which i wouldnt have any other way^^
hrmss...just finished my IELTS test last saturday>.< ::fingers crossed:: it should be fine, but im hoping to get a better grade than the last time, although i think i got reaaally lazy by the writing bit..! lolz
i also went to a tarot card reader about a week ago..and, well...i really cant say much except, im not even sure its even relevant. oh well, i might be wrong..hahah. i was interested but didnt usually bother with all the cosmic stufz since i was in year 9/10..lolzwell, other than that, i have confirmed that i wont be going back to kl this holiday as well. i called my mum on thursday and she was ready to book me a ticket back to malaysia, flying there on the 20th of january and returning on 17/18th feb, but i thought about it and i know, wherever i am, i cant run away from my thoughts, so i'd be better off dealing with it anyways without the costly mistake of flying back anyways.and besides, i am stronger than that and im also not giving up. i wont give up as easily.
well, i feel much better today~~ i finally went to St. Vincent's Hospital today to look for volunteer work~ i figured that there are many people out there who face much more pressing problems than myself, and im trying not to think about my own for awhilee..~
anyways, im kinda way too tired to keep my eyes open even, now..so i think i will send my resumes first thing tmw morning~ nitezz for now~~

i chose y o u

2008-01-14T10:50:00.000+11:00

do you know about those times, when we really regret some of the things we did and wished that time would just rewind itself, just so we could do things a different way? well, there is this situation or more like a series of situations which i really would approach differently, given the chance again. i was tactless, juvenile and stubborn, and i really cant believe it because i really was being exactly like a person who i used to 'hate', and yes, i do realise this also makes me a hypocrite. i believe that life is all about a balance..for everything we do, there usually is a balance to uphold. for instance, i have become a very rational person when it comes to matters of my <3, i may come off as indifferent, heartless and almost incapable of believing in love. but the truth remains that i do. my mistake comes from over-emphasising the former, and misleading the one person who i unknowingly, have given a small piece of my <3 color="#333399">some important things that need to be defended as well.
i was selfish and protective of my own feelings, and ended up with the cold, hard realisation of the truth that i have been denying all along. so, it goes to show, i have become very averse to spontaneity and taking risks and unable to live my life as it is...
but most importantly, i wished i told you before, that i chose you, but i knew actions are stronger than words, and i thought i would show you in time. i would choose you.

************

2008-01-08T20:55:00.000+11:00

happpiee happiee new year 2008 to all~~~!!

anyways, i've been thinking again (when i know i really shouldn't be), and i realised just how i have been pretty tactless in terms of giving advice when i should just let nature run its own due course. well, i wont give any excuses for my insensitivity, but hope that i remember this lesson and not repeat my mistakes again. and although i know, the decision is not one which i changed alone, i still carry that guilt as i know i have done wrong, regardless of how much it had inspired the outcome. *sighs*

its been a year and a half since i was last in a relationship...hrmms..and yes, i have enjoyed my singledom and gotten accustomed to the relatively new concept of being happy even without a significant other. during this time, i have liked and gone on dates, but when there is an even the slightest hint of an expectation of a relationship, i have panicked and turned to run in the opposite direction. i have been extremely cautious in most circumstances involving my <3 ...coz i have too many fears. fear that my standards are not met, fear that i will go too fast and not know the person well enough b4 i fall in love, the fear that i will revert or fail to be a good girlfriend. . .the fear of letting my own self down. but its really time to let go of these fears, because life is only half-lived if we continue to live in doubt and worry about things that may never eventuate~

p.s. i dont want to love you

2007-12-30T01:30:00.000+11:00

just came home from watching P.S. I love you with pei wen, bryan and ethan~ it was a really sweet movie adapted from a book by Cecilia Ahern, about a husband who passes away and has left a plan of things to do for his widow (Hilary Swank)..*sigh* it was just a really touching and true-to-life story, which really depicts what so many people experience - coming to terms with the loss of their significant other~
watching this movie reminded myself of that feeling of being in a relationship.....and to be completely honest, im pretty da^% scared of going thru' those notions again. the helplessness of falling in love with someone. the fear of making mistakes or losing the person's love, the disappointment from having such high expectations from the person we love, and so many other sensations that i have become fairly immune to...
some people say it is good to venture and find the right one...but i really wonder, just how many times can a <3 be broken, for the sake of searching for the perfect one?

********

the irony of this x'mas eve

2007-12-24T07:11:00.000+11:00

it's been a long time since i had this sickening feeling from waking up at such an ungodly hour of the morning, as i have today...or maybe, they stemmed from the mixed emotions i have from my mum and two younger sisters leaving for home sweet kl* today. its been almost two years since the memorably painful parting in Caulfield, when i realised just how much my family meant to me.
being older but only slightly more wiser than my 18 year old self, i am numb. not willing to let myself plunge into the deep waters of raw emotion.

*pop*

hahah...screw raw emotion! champagne, anyone??

okaii, but seriously ill admit it definitely feels good to have the home all to myself~ i feel like a kid whose parents went out of town and is relishing in the freedom this must mean. okaii..now that just sounded really pathetic, and no, of course, my parents are not that bad! hahahah...in fact, my parents, are quite the opposite and though, sometimes are pretty uptight about certain issues, they have always maintained my sense of freedom, to a surprising extent.

anyhow, the weariness is finally catching up to me, and im going to try to sleep in a little more b4 the buzy day ahead~ ttnfz~

pre-xmas greetings~~

2007-12-20T02:06:00.000+11:00

eheheh...dreaded curse of the insomniacs~ >.<
its three-freaking-oh-one am rite now.

a mere 5 days to X'mas, which happens to be my absolute favourite holiday of the entire year~~ for some twisted reason, i always felt like X'mas is more romantic than Valentine's day and inadvertently more meaningful to me than Chinese New Year - probably a result of being brought up a little too English-educated, and despite myself not being a Christian too.

anyhow, with all the joys that Christmas brings - Xmas cheer, turkey + cranberry sauce, Santa Clause, christmas carols, presents! - it also stirs up a certain sense of loneliness.
time has definitely flown by, and i have been happily single for a little over a year and still enjoying it~ but there is just something so enchanting about falling/ being in love with that special someone during this special time of the year~

hrmss..anyways, i have grown accustomed to having my mum and my sisters around, and now seriously beginning to wonder what i will do when they really do leave on the 11th of January~ ohss deare...hahahah..~ whats important is valuing the remaining time they have here, and spending a veryy Merry Xmas with them, instead~

Seasons greetingss to all~ and have a veryy Merry Xmas~!! xOxO~

rant

2007-12-16T11:27:00.000+11:00

life isn't fair most of the time . . .

i'm certainly not an unfortunate person, nor am i deprived of any necessities...just that i am not the type of person who is easily satisfied ::grins::

sometimes, i get weary from not being able to get what i want most of the time, and because of that, i wished i was one of those people who are just happie from the simplest things in life. . . the 'simple'/ uncomplicated type.
but i cant change, and though hard as it might be, i really appreciate having my friends around to listen to my whining on about the unfairness of not being able to get what i really, reallyy wanted in the first place.. ><"

its ridiculouss really, because i know i'm old enough to understand, old enough to stop feeling petty about all this but its just so frustrating sometimes. as it seems, like whatever i do...its just not good enough for my parents. arghs.

~

2007-11-25T13:03:00.000+11:00

just got home from watching a chinese movie 'Wonder Women' @ Bryan and Ethan's place~ it was not bad, but the heroine's (Gigi Leung) life was exceptionally tragic, and i cant imagine ever having gone through the hardships she faced ::touches wood:: its when i watch movies like this, i am reminded of how painstaking how other people's lives can be compared to the trivial troubles in my own. it makes me appreciate how lucky i have been so far, and in a way, makes me more determined to try to suceed=]
had dinner tonite @ Pacific House in Richmond, with bryan, mel, cayvian, hui san, cheng yee and ethan..which was also where we bought the pirated chinese movies..lolz..quite surprising to see a shop selling pirated stuffs in Melbourne, but we were too bored and just bought the moviess~
anywayss..tomorrow, i have to go to Clayton (again!) to learn how to edit my resume~ so, guess ill write more another time..~

someone and someone else +

2007-11-20T00:00:00.000+11:00

its ironic...how history always repeats itself.

someone cries tonite from finding they 'fallen too deep into love'.

someone cries because they are missing someone so badly, their whole heart aches.

someone wonders how they will survive the next few months without him.

someone feels the loneliness so strange and scary and growing ever so rapidly.

someone doesnt wish that history tends to repeat itself, in its many manifestations.

someone feels frustrated and powerless from not being able to prevent all this from really happening.

the same someone also, lies in bed and thinks about a particular someone she wont be seeing for some time to come.

she hopes to renew her belief in fate~

these are the two people living in my house now, the two who are separated by the less-than-soundproof sliding wall, but bound by the same blood and now, by fairly similar experiences...

those magic words.

2007-11-14T01:48:00.000+11:00

i remember. . . the times i used to latch onto my dad's back trouser pockets and follow him to the dining table every evening when he just got home from work.

i remember. . . how my mum would console and soothe me whenever i had a bad fall or i had nightmares when i was just a little kid.

i remember. . . the way the sunlight would shine through the curtains in our old house in Cheras when i used to sleep in my parents' bedroom.

and. . . i also remember as a little kid, my biggest fear and worst-ever nightmare was, one day, eventually losing my parents *touches wood*
it is a very strange and frightening concept: death. especially to a seven-year old. and, yes, i was petrified by the thought of losing my own life one day, and the possibilities of how it would occur, but at that time, the deep pain of the loss of the people i loved most dearly and how i would cope without them seemed like too much to bear. there were nights of endless sobbing and crying in bed from worry of this undeniable fate. of losing the two most important and giving people in this world to me; my mum and dad. i really have alot to thank them for..~
then there was a period of time, when i started to find my dad too uptight, and my mum too flighty. friends started to overshadow my family & i began to disregard my parents' advice and directions. it was like, the more they pushed, the more i edged away.
but standing here in this point of time, i cant help but feel so lost. unsure of what i want, what i should do, and what is possible and impossible to achieve. my life as a student is unofficially about to end, and i can't handle this responsibility yet. i wished i could be strong, for the sake of my independence, and my parents. but i'm crumbling from the weight of it all...
on the train home from work last nite, i couldnt keep myself from thinking...i reaally, reeaally miss my family, and i wish i could hear my mum tell me again that "everythings going to be alrite..."

***********

this itch is really killin' me.

2007-11-10T19:10:00.000+11:00

eekss...i'm suffering from the after-shock of my rashes; i'm not sure if its my imagination playing tricks on me or something, but i can feel some 'phantom' itchiness...from time to time~ i have been having this really bad, *superrr* itchy rash for the past 2-3 days (or more like, nites since i dun have them in the daytime but it always surfaces during the nite-time)~ i know, i know, it sounds really groce..i mean, rashes...the red blotchiness of the skin, coupled with the mad scratching, typical behaviour usually associated with monkeys...it was exceptionally hard to even pretend to be normal on friday nite, Jit & Suri's bdayy party @ seven, but thankfully, i did manage to have loadss of fun that nite, after all~! ;)
i think, Cayvian really was rite..either, the alcohol really did *cure* my rashess - as insane as that sounds, it may be true, coz i didnt have them again the nite after clubbing! - or, it managed to numb/distract me from the itchiness, and i totally forgot to scratch after awhile..lolzz~
btw. . . thanxx to every1 of you who has been concerned with my rashes~~ and so sorry to those who have suffered my wrath during this highly agitated period....oh no, wait..im always highly agitated.. *nervous laughter*
oh gosh, i've really been turning into a 'super-b&^!*' lately & been giving lame excuses for it too...first, coz of assignments, then straight after that, Exams~! and now, this stupid rash! well, now this rash has subsided...i have finally run out of excuses, and feel that its time to quit my job and do what i really wanna do. . . just enjoy my holidays with my frends!! ~ except, this isnt really a holiday, either...its more like the time i need to get my act together and prepare for the next stage in life~ work *le sigh* okaii, now i feel really depressedd... well, im off to the beach first, which hopefully cures this bout of depression...~
xOxO~

where do i go from here? . . .

2007-11-08T01:59:00.000+11:00

eheheh...like *someone* commented..my blog has been collecting quite a fair bit of cobwebs recently;) but hey, i did manage to create a high level of anticipation for my current *comeback* post, rite? ahahahah...okaii..maybe not~

well, i've been thinking...okaii, no i haven't, i have been seriously studying my bee-hind off..and i mean, seriously going to the library on a Saturday and Sunday (how incredibly unholy is that? - not so much becoz i'm Christian - which i am not - but cozz its just soo....paranormal), and so what if sze shih and i were talking most of the time & totally drove eza crazzyy with our inability to focus on studying..heheh~ it waz funn, and i'm going to miss it~ *sighs* and now, all my exams are finally over..im unofficially not a student anymore..~ well, i keep saying it..but, deep down, i dont want to let it fully sink in yet....for a few reasons;

there is the possibility i havent quite made it yet...due to the 2 NP's i had during my past 4 years of study.. ><"
i'm also in denial. i'm not quite ready to face the responsibilities of finding a job, supporting myself and making choices that define my future. yet. and yes, i'm not sure when i will be ready...err...wait..do i even have a choice here?? hahahah.....okaii okaii, i guess i'm just being a whiner and totally baby-ish about this..eeks! and i think i even got abit hypocritical. i feared the choices i have to make now...and i just posted that quote~ on kenny's blog >.<"

hrmmss..well, its time to start looking for a permanent job, i guess....one that will take me places, literally... (hahah...okaii, im dreaming still..)~

anyways, its reaaally late now..and i need to zzzzz~~ so more updatess, later..good nitezz for now~ xOxO~

lessons~

2007-10-19T12:21:00.000+10:00

there is exactly 6 days left till my first exam~ and, no, im not working tonite, i'm going clubbing instead...hahahah. yes, everyone may think i am crazy rite about now, but hey, i know what i need to do, and thank god, now, i dont need to justify it to anyone else but myself now [sorry, mum & dad~ but i still love u~ hahah..]

anyways, like i blogged about b4, i had 'lost my way' during the past week, but im gradually finding my way back on track again~ thanxx to some advice and support from my best frends, who i had left in the dark during that time...~~ and i realised that they are going through similar but their own, dilemmas as well, some quite similar to mine, some are not..but anyways, i know, that they have equally tough decisions to make and deal with, as i have.

i learnt a few things this week;

nothing is as 'perfect' as it really seems,
this loneliness i felt, is more common and perfectly normal that i thought it was, but all i needed to do was to reach out to my frends..~
don't be afraid of or fight change - embrace it and learn to adapt to it,
never say 'never', becoz we cant predict the future, and we shouldnt limit our scope on living life..~
and most importantly, always have hope. becoz that's what makes life worth living for.

well, that brings me to the end of the post, good luckzz to everyone having examss! or assignments due soon~~ and study hard, work hard and play hard too~! xOxO~

************

"do not be afraid of life; believe that life is worth living, and your belief
will help create the fact"

the week everything went . . .

2007-10-15T13:10:00.000+10:00

this will be a long post, so brace yourselves~ ^^

so, it has been a long, long week 12, the week when three of my final assignments are due...ECC2890's 3000 word group essay on the economic development of Hong Kong on Wednesday, followed by INT3015's semester essay on the impacts of Globalisation on the World Environment, and EUR3080's 2nd essay on Sovereignty in Europe on Friday. of course, i just had to procastinate till the very last days, and only (barely) finished them before the deadline, all except for EUR3080, which i only completed last nite, after getting an extension for it..gosh..i was just so super stressedd over them, i was sleepless in the mornings..for the past week or so, i have been waking up at 7-ish in the morning, and be unable to fall back asleep again - regardless of the time i would go to bed the nite b4.. it is a weird kind of insomnia, that i wake up so early in the morning, but painful nonetheless..on the plus side, looking like a panda meant that i had an excuse to borrow jamie's shades and wear them virtually everywhere (even in the library~ to my group meeting) *lolzz*

other than that, happiee, happiieee belated birthdayy to my upstairs neigbour and good frend, Bryan~~~!! who celebrated his bday on the 9th of October~

so sorry, the surprise was a complete disaster >.<" believe me, if i knew u had no clue, we would have been sitting in the bathroom blowing balloons for the surprise for much longer than that...lolx

and yay~ i got paid this week, for the 24 and a half hours i worked last week~~ only to find something reaally weird was going on with my taxed amount; $94!~~ oh my goshh...is that even possible that my taxx rate is likee, 23%!!?? so weirrdd...

hrmss..it also looks like i will be wearing my contacts most of this week, as i have been a klutz again, and broken my own glasses >.< color="#ff6666">red-framed glasses.. *sighs* now, i have to wait for them, while they are being fixed..~

anyways, this week has been a really tough one for me as can be seen from my gloomy MSN nicks, these past few times...and i admit to having a *mini-breakdown* in the middle of this week..when, i was just freaking out over what little time left i had to do everything. but, it was all my own doing for not starting my own assignments earlier. but this panic attack made me realise, i cant handle as much as i thought i could b4....which did lower my confidence alot during the last week. but, dunt worry, i have thought about it..and this being a new week, i have a chance to start again..a chance to not make the same mistakes again, and hope i stick with it~^^
ohs yeahh, and well, i dun think my secret ♥ is just that into me after all, & yes, of course i'm broken.♥'d...but as i know what i'm worth, this wont take long to get over;)

xOxO~

the joy of graduation~

2007-10-02T21:57:00.000+10:00

Congratulations to jun & yingying deares on graduating from Ba. of Commerce (Management) and Ba. of Commerce (Accounting and Finance) respectively, today~~!! for the past few years, i've noticed the fresh graduates clothed in their thick black capes with the silky colorful ribbons, but never realised, till today, how significant or momentous an occasion, graduation really is. and, its totally cheesy and all..but i can't help but feel so happy for them~ that they have officially completed their degree and are moving on to another 'step' in life...~ and, i wish them only the bestt in everything else they do~~

me + jun; congratzz sweetie~!!

hrmm...well, i started working again @ Magic City...guess, the job is alrite...its a better place than Oriental Tea House, classier and more sophisticated, the people are pretty nice~~ and the food is reeeeallyy yuumm~ its like the 'Camberwell branch of Longrain'~ but...i do miss everyone at OTH. i worked the past two nites, but it was just eardley and me in the restaurant. and, of course, eardley is super nice...but, i really reaally miss having other ppl around...~ can't wait till every1 else starts work too..^^

anyways, im so super tired...and i really don't need to look like a panda, despite them being one of my favourite animals..~ ><

happpiee, happiiee 21st, ashiq~~!!

2007-09-29T16:56:00.000+10:00

firstly, happiie happieee 21st birthday to ~ ashiq~!! one of my treasured besties since high school~ almost 8 yearss of friendship~ ehheheh..hope ure having a 'smashing' time @ Nottingham now~! hope to see you really soon;)

today marks the last day of my last university holidayss ever..since its probably working life for me after this semester. oh, but then again, life is oh-so-unpredictable...and i have accepted the fact that nothing ever goes the way we imagined it would~ *wistful*

today also is my first day at a new job for me~~ wheee.....~!! finally, something that can keep me occupied, and take my mind of my idle-ness and constant slacking-off...one of the bad things about it is, its in the suburbs, and this time, not even on the way to uni...=[ well, at least, eardley will be there..~ and i wont be completely alone..and the pay is better than the previous one~ so, its a good, natural progression, i suppose..^^ yayzz~

well, my past week of uni holidays have been a blast~~ here are the highlights;

Sunday: Road trip to Mornington Peninsula with cay vian, hui san, keith, soon shin~

hui san + cay vian + myself @ the unicorn fountain @ Ashcombe maze

under the blue sky, our fingers were starr-crossed x.x

summer is almost here. all i need is the sun and friends like mine~

our group picture @ London Bridge (Mornington)
soon shin - cayvian - jasmine - hui san - keith

and it felt just like home; @ Janice's seaview home~ where we stayed in Mornington.

Janice's awesome house @ Rosebud~

oops...just realised i have to cut this post short as i still need to do more 'homework' b4 i go to work..~ will post more pics the next time...oh, and its a pity, i didnt manage to go to the Royal Melbourne show after all, this year....really wanted to get another fluffy unicorn again! *sighs* guess there is always next year...~ ttfnz

black is back.

2007-09-14T01:30:00.000+10:00

in my first post, i was supposed to explain that my choice of the black background, instead of the typical white one was not accidental, nor was it purely for design purposes (although that may provide the second reason). it was on finding out in my INT3015; unit about Globalisation, that the darker colored screen require less energy to light up computer screens, and thus, is my small contribution towards energy-saving and the environment~ >.<
anyways, i have finally brought myself out of my own 'rut'...after staying home practically, for the past two weekends, i have decided to go out instead of just laying about at home, and trying to seem so available. well, the truth is, i am bored of being too available..gosh..and, i really need to find my darn planner~ becoz im seriously lost without it..*miserable*
hrmmss...i seem to have bloggers' bloc everytime i sit in front of my screen, and seem to have the most to think about whilst on the train ride home from uni...oh wells..nothing really significant is happening anyways~

2007-09-11T21:18:00.000+10:00

har har har...as im blogging, i'm chatting with my ex-Maplestory net frend, Ian..it sounds childish and weird, but hey, Ian is a good guy, k! albeit the tendency of bullying me most of the time! so, yeah, he is teasing me about my secret ♥, yes, thats what ill call him now; my secret ♥
anyways, i don't think my secret ♥ has a clue, and i'm too afraid to be too obvious..i mean, yeah, if not how is he gonna know? well, he has to want to find out then!~~ hahahah...
anyways, had lunch with ashley and bryan yesterday...and i haven't seen nor catched up with ash for the longest time, and we were just talking about how being in a relationship changes everything...how we base our decisions, and etc. more often not, love comes in the way of pursuit of our finest dreams...ambitions to travel the world, or work overseas are forgone, in the name of love. this is the reality of love, and i know it happens. but i wonder, if love is really strong, shouldn't it encourage our very dreams?
hrmms...anyways, happieee happiieee 21st birthday to Adlil~~~!!

attempt #540926

2007-09-09T15:13:00.000+10:00

on an eventless, morose Sunday such as today, I shall make another attempt to keep yet, another blog~ this one previously went on an uber-long hiatus, and is replaced with this one...

anyhow, i shall begin this entry on a very sad note; the marker of the end of both Mercedes-Benz FashionWeek NYC Spring 2008, and also Motorola Melbourne Spring Fashion Week....

and here are some of the looks i liked (from NYC);

simple sweet dress in basic white and black from designer doo ri's Spring 2008 collection~

loving this androgynous ensemble from alexander wang spring '08 collection

[little known fact about myself: I know and, even care, when Fashion Week is]

anyways, another weekend has flown by...and i feel a certain emptiness starting to overwhelm me. perhaps, it is loneliness...as i realise, i have been pushing those closest to me further away..and i can't pinpoint the exact reason why i do it. hrmms...

all this pondering is not doing any good...especially when i should be making the most of my time here, as i still haven't made the decision to stay or leave after graduation yet...its getting late~ will post more later..~